More threads by Ashley-Kate

wanting to die what more is there to add not enjoying life not finding any purpose killing yourself a little bit every day and not even caring.. seeing good things happen and being indifferent not wanting to exist among it or other times it driving you completely insane frustrating to see how wonderfully people seem to think life is but for you it is nothing it is nothing but the desire to stop it.. i can't take it anymore i feel like nothing makes sense like i don't know anymore i don't know anything i want to stop my heart but i physically can't just ask it nicely to stop the body doesn't work as we wish it exist whether we want it to or not and i don't want it to anymore i am scared cause i feel as though i never have been were i am at now so discouraged to a point that i don't care anymore. i see my psychologist on Friday and i don't know what to say more than just this i just started another session at college and i am
yours truly
Re: what to do

Ashley, why don't you print out this post and take it to your session on Friday. I think your psychologist needs to know how badly you're feeling.

Have you ever tried calling any of these crisis lines?:

Sometimes it helps just to talk to someone.

Eating disorders are tough because physically they make us feel so bad and they cause emotional problems too. Distortions of reality. Are you on any medication? You might want to discuss that with your psychologist.

I'm sorry, so sorry, that you're suffering the way you are. Please hold on and don't give up hope. There is hope. I am coming out of a very dark time in my life too. I wanted to give up and couldn't see anything but darkness, but I see a little bit of light now. I guess I'm posting this to try to help you see that you can come out of the darkness. It takes a lot of hard work and struggle, but it's possible. I truly believe it and want you to know it too.

Hang in there. Talk to your psychologist. Take it one day at a time. Use the crisis hotlines if you need to. Talk to us here. Reach out. Hold on. This can be overcome. Try to find some small piece of you that has hope and hold on. I believe you have a lot of strength in you. You just need to find it right now. It's there. Just believe in it.
ashley, you're in a tough spot right now and it's hard, very hard. the hardest part is feeling like there is just no point to life, it's an awful feeling. however, it's a feeling and that doesn't mean that life is pointless. there is so much to life, it's just that right now your illness is preventing you from being able to see that. please know and hang on to the thought that things can get better and do change. i have not had an eating disorder but i've gone through a bad depression where i thought it was all pointless too. i've gotten through that and that is proof that you can feel better about life and about yourself. as janet has suggested i would definitely speak with your therapist when you see him/her again. he/she can help and it will be slow going but their support is what will get you through.
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