What would make you happy?

[Shaymus]

So i met with my therapist again yesterday. My second time meeting with her. She asked me how my life would look if i saw myself as happy. To be honest ive thought of this before. I think id be happiest if i had a small studio apartment, a cat and maybe disability to help pay rent? The part that would make me happy would be not having to deal with people. She seemed to think this wasnt a great answer. It made me angry because who would know what would make me happier than me? We talked about other stuff but this is what stuck in my mind so i spent way to much time turning it over and over in my head.

I think i can understand now. I have social anxiety/avoidant or have been diagnosed as that. So that being my view of what could make me happy i guess could be seen as more of a symptom than what would really make me happy. How does a person whose personality seems so used to the symptoms/is entwined with and is used to avoiding social situations go about figuring out what would really make them happy? I feel physically fatigued and drained being around people(even people i like) for any length of time. How could i possibly view that as making me happy. Is it really a wrong answer to think of being alone as being happy? Im trying to think of a better answer for next appointment but am confused.

 

[Mari]

H! Shaymus. Did your therapist actually say that it was not a great answer? It sounds very pleasant to me. I find social interaction exhausting - it sometimes seems like a never ending game of chess. Now I am confused thinking about this question of happiness. Hope to hear more on this. :heart: Mari

 

[Lana]

Hi, Shaymus;

I'm afraid I don't fully understand the problem here, one way or another. What made you think that your therapist didn't think it was a great answer? In what context was the question asked? What are you working on during your therapy? You don't have to answer these questions here, but what I'm getting to is that answers to all those can bring on different interpretations.

However, I think your questioning is very valid. I also feel that this should probably be something that you discuss with your therapist. So, rather then try and come up with an answer that she would approve of, ask her what made her think the answer was not great in the first place.

 

[Shaymus]

I guess i assumed she didnt like the answer because she,,,, well i guess i just got that vibe from her. She said it might not be realistic to rely on disability for rent and such things as that. When they nit pick i just assume they arent pleased cause thats what i do when im not The context it was in i think was more of the getting to know you questions. I think shes trying to figure out how to deal with me. It was the second meeting, im not sure what specifically we will work on. It seems each therapist has a different idea of what we should work on or maybe im different flavors of ill with each one and they go from there. Im sure it will go down the general usual path of pushing social interaction and changing depressing thoughts and things but what exactly i dunno.

I think thats what ill do, ill discuss it with her. And ill be able to defend my answer better after having thought it through and hopefully a little better rested.

 

[Halo]

Shaymus,

I am happy that you are going to discuss it with her as I really think that it is your best bet. Until you ask her about it, you are really not going to have a clear understanding of what she meant and it is really hard to judge what a person meant or thought based on a vibe. Sometimes what we think they are saying is the complete opposite. I know that I have had a vibe from my therapist and walked out of his office thinking that he said meant one thing only to clarify later and found out that he meant the complete opposite. It really is good to get verbal clarification if uncertain about things.

When is your next appointment by the way?

 

[Shaymus]

Its true, ive misinterpreted things in the past from people. Usually im pretty good at it though. Strangely the closer i am to someone the worse i am at it.

Its a weekly thing, im pretty sure its on the 7th. Im not looking forward to that at all cause afterwards i have to go to my first group therapy thing. Yuck! But on the positive side i wont be too nervous about the actual therapy appointment hehe.