Which one of me needs therapy?

[Banned]

I've been working with my current therapist for just over two years. It was evident very quickly when I started working with her that she was a really good match for me, and I quickly ditched my other therapist when he got back from holidays.

What I learned very, very early with my current therapist is that there really are two "mes" who go to therapy - there's "little me" and "adult me". Some days it's the "little me" that needs therapy - my "inner child" if you're into that kind of stuff, and some days my "adult me" needs therapy. Alot of my depression and other issues are more related to my "little me" and not my adult at all which is why I couldn't get anywhere with my previous therapist - he was completely focused on me as an adult.

Is this common and do they ever intergrate or will they stay separate? When I go to my appointment each week I'm never sure who will get therapy - my adult or my kid - it just depends whose issues stand out the most that week. It's not a bad thing, and I'm fine with it, but I just wondered if this is common and if I'll ever feel integrated and not the separation between the two.

This might not make any sense, and I apologize if it doesn't.

 

[Into The Light]

it probably depends on your situation whether this occurs or not. i don't think you'd be the only one. i know i'll feel like a child around certain people, just that vibe they give off that make me feel insecure but i don't think it's the same thing as what you are experiencing.

i would imagine that as you heal you would integrate - but maybe dr. b. can shed some more light on that?

 

[Eye Stigmata]

I think the therapy will eventually help you get your child and adult on the same page. I think your depression come from the inner child part of you because you hurt the most when you were younger, and your adult has absorbed much of that pain from your child. I think it's really amazing that you have two sides that show and need help....It's amazing that you can draw the line between child and adult.
I think they will join together when they are each healed...and I also think you will know when you hit that point.
Keep going turtle...slowly but surely you will get there.

 

[ladylore]

I think the therapy will eventually help you get your child and adult on the same page. I think your depression come from the inner child part of you because you hurt the most when you were younger, and your adult has absorbed much of that pain from your child. I think it's really amazing that you have two sides that show and need help....It's amazing that you can draw the line between child and adult.
I think they will join together when they are each healed...and I also think you will know when you hit that point.
Keep going turtle...slowly but surely you will get there.

:goodpost:

I find this topic facinating. Personally, both my adult and child recieve counsellig. My adult being taught how to parent and the child learning how to mature. The two have integrated in a few ways that I can tell but in other ways they are still very separate.

And both are me.

 

[Banned]

I'm fortunate that I have the awareness now that there are two separate mes, because before I attained that awareness I was very confused and didn't understand why I did the things I did or said the things I said. Now at least I understand.

They haven't started to integrate at all...maybe that will come. I hope it will come, because I constantly feel like I'm managing two people all the time and it gets tiring. The filter in my brain as to who should present - the adult or the child - in any situation, not just therapy is getting way overused and exhausted.

I don't know how to integrate them...or maybe I don't need to? I don't know...

 

[ladylore]

The way my therapist explained it to me is that I integrate things when I understand with my heart, not with just my brain (as in knowledge).

 

[Noughts]

Oh! I never knew there were so many other members here that regress too! (I feel happy, is that appropriate? :laughs

It's probably different for people, but for me, my regressed side is (or was...) was a security blanket for me. I didn't have anything to worry about when I was regressed. All my problems, my burdens, the whole world? that all belonged to my "age-appropriate" (and I say this because many people have told me I act very mature for my age...) self. I didn't really feel anything when I was regressed, aside from the awe at how beautiful the "regressed world" (the world was a nicer place, a better place when I was younger!) was. The sky... The shadows... I wasn't worried about anything, so I could pay attention to these beautiful little details.

I'm not sure how these identities can integrate, since my regressed self died when I experienced a particularly traumatic incident (for me) while I was regressed. Thanks mom for turning me into a sadistic dissocial misanthropist creep. ...You probably don't want to go that way.

Whenever I regressed, I was confronted with a particularly stressing situation. When I was pushed into a situation where I had to interact with people, or where there were so many people around me that I didn't like, and that there seemed like a way out (a dark corner, the outskirts of the field), I regressed... Like in school. Especially in PE. We had PE outside, and many times I'd regress and walk out into the field where nobody bothered me. It was comforting... Especially when I thought about Kia...

Because of my experiences, I think that the only way to get both of your sides to integrate is to take care of whatever's stressing you. But your case might be different than mine...

 

[ladylore]

I can assure you Noughts - no one died. You came through whole.

I had a similar experience after an EMDR session. It was quite the realization that no part of me died and that I am whole. I can leave the pain in the past and still be whole now because I grew up.

As for being able to play and feeling awe in this beautiful world of ours, when the two parts of ourselves integrate more it's having your cake and eating it too, with the icing. I am mature but things can facinate me.

That has been my experience anyways.