Hi,
I'm a 23 years old guy from France, with severe problems when it comes to communicate with my peers (I don't have any difficulty with older people).
Trying to understand what's wrong with me, I wrote on some French discussion boards, but with no success. In a hope to have maybe better luck on English forums, I registered here.
I apologize if it's a wrong place and I'm sorry for my bad English.
Two years before, when I was in college, I had depression, so I lost a few friends I had before (since, like everyone, they didn't want to spend their time with somebody in depression). Since then, I can't have any relationship at all.
What bother me a lot is that I never had any girlfriend, and never had nothing at all with women, not even a kiss. If it doesn't matter for me too much to not have friends, I'm really concerned about the fact that I will never be able to have a family, and will stay alone the rest of my life.
In real life:
Earlier, I had already a lot of pain to have a correct relationship with others. At the university, most of the time I stayed alone. Some people spoke to me, but it was just "Hello, how are you?" few times a week, nothing more. In rare cases when somebody was ready to talk to me, I was never invited to the parties, and nobody would accept an invitation from me (tried a few times, it never worked).
After my depression, it became even harder. Currently, I can easily spend months without talking to anybody, except to say Hello, Thanks and Good bye at the supermarket. At the university, everyone avoid me and usually there were a few empty rows between me and other students in classrooms.
When I try to approach people outside the university, it is unsuccessful too. For example, if I attempt to talk to someone in train, the person makes just short answers as if I annoy her, and never asks questions herself.
On the internet:
On discussion boards or on dating websites, nobody contacts me, never. When I send a private message to somebody, in most cases I don't have any reply at all. In some rare cases, I do have a reply, but then, the person stops talking to me in a few days or answers one or two sentences once a week or a month.
There are two girls who talk to me regularly, one for a year, another for two years, but they are just friends. By the way, the second one told that she doesn't even want to met me in real life. I've seen the first one in real life a few times, but she lives in another city, so I can't see her more often (and probably she don't want to).
What's wrong with me? What can I do to be able to have normal relationship with the women of the same age?
In fact, I don't see what is so different between me and other guys. I believe not being too stupid. I'm quite ugly, but not the ugliest of all. I work as a freelance software developer, but I'm not at all like those geeks who talk only about computers with everyone, and I'm also interested in many domains. I'm quite boring, but often have lots of things to say.
I suppose there is something wrong with my behavior, or with my approach of a relationship. Sometimes, I think that women of my age don't want to stay with me because, at this age, they rather want short-term dating, while I'm searching for somebody to stay the whole life with. But I believe it's wrong, since there are, in least in France, lots of marriages between 20 years old people.
So, any advice?
I'm a 23 years old guy from France, with severe problems when it comes to communicate with my peers (I don't have any difficulty with older people).
Trying to understand what's wrong with me, I wrote on some French discussion boards, but with no success. In a hope to have maybe better luck on English forums, I registered here.
I apologize if it's a wrong place and I'm sorry for my bad English.
Two years before, when I was in college, I had depression, so I lost a few friends I had before (since, like everyone, they didn't want to spend their time with somebody in depression). Since then, I can't have any relationship at all.
What bother me a lot is that I never had any girlfriend, and never had nothing at all with women, not even a kiss. If it doesn't matter for me too much to not have friends, I'm really concerned about the fact that I will never be able to have a family, and will stay alone the rest of my life.
In real life:
Earlier, I had already a lot of pain to have a correct relationship with others. At the university, most of the time I stayed alone. Some people spoke to me, but it was just "Hello, how are you?" few times a week, nothing more. In rare cases when somebody was ready to talk to me, I was never invited to the parties, and nobody would accept an invitation from me (tried a few times, it never worked).
After my depression, it became even harder. Currently, I can easily spend months without talking to anybody, except to say Hello, Thanks and Good bye at the supermarket. At the university, everyone avoid me and usually there were a few empty rows between me and other students in classrooms.
When I try to approach people outside the university, it is unsuccessful too. For example, if I attempt to talk to someone in train, the person makes just short answers as if I annoy her, and never asks questions herself.
On the internet:
On discussion boards or on dating websites, nobody contacts me, never. When I send a private message to somebody, in most cases I don't have any reply at all. In some rare cases, I do have a reply, but then, the person stops talking to me in a few days or answers one or two sentences once a week or a month.
There are two girls who talk to me regularly, one for a year, another for two years, but they are just friends. By the way, the second one told that she doesn't even want to met me in real life. I've seen the first one in real life a few times, but she lives in another city, so I can't see her more often (and probably she don't want to).
What's wrong with me? What can I do to be able to have normal relationship with the women of the same age?
In fact, I don't see what is so different between me and other guys. I believe not being too stupid. I'm quite ugly, but not the ugliest of all. I work as a freelance software developer, but I'm not at all like those geeks who talk only about computers with everyone, and I'm also interested in many domains. I'm quite boring, but often have lots of things to say.
I suppose there is something wrong with my behavior, or with my approach of a relationship. Sometimes, I think that women of my age don't want to stay with me because, at this age, they rather want short-term dating, while I'm searching for somebody to stay the whole life with. But I believe it's wrong, since there are, in least in France, lots of marriages between 20 years old people.
So, any advice?
