Why is this bothering me so much

[Michael]

On the news a saw a story about a traffic accident where 2 young children were killed when thier mother stuck a parked big-rig. The next day I leanred that this woman was a former co-worker of my wife's. These children were only 4 and 8 years old. I've met this women, even seen the kids before, but it's been almost 2 years and I really didnt know them that well. Why am I so distraught over this? I mean its always sad to hear about a tragedy regarding a child, but its been a week and I can barely think about anything else. Its almost like I'm obsessed with it and I can barely function. I know it will get better with time, but is this normal?

 

[Eunoia]

hey Michael. I think being affected by someone's death, especially when tragic or "not justifiable" w/ old age, ilness, ec., is part of human nature. Some deaths are highly publicized (ie. TV), which will make more people pay attention to them, where as otherwise it probably wouldn't cross their minds. What happened is a tragic incident in itself, but the fact that you had a personal connection (even if very little and from a long time ago) makes it that much harder. You've met them and the last thing someone wants to associate w/ a happy family and young children who are supposed to have their whole lives ahead of them, is finality- or death.

Maybe they reminded you of someone else you know w/ little kids, maybe your own family (I don't know if you have kids), and it most certainly makes some people realize (ie. wake up call) how quickly life can come to an end. It makes you think of your own mortality and that of those around you. But don't get caught up in trying to figure out what is normal and what is not. They're emotions and you have a reason to feel upset about this.

It's been a week. That's not that much time if you think of them having lost their lives. And with work and chores and other activities every day often there isn't really time for grief, or so we think. Hang on to the fact that it will get better with time. But I don't think that by any means you should feel guilty about feeling this way or thinking it's not "normal". I had to learn that too and David and others pointed out that grieving someone's death is a way to honor their life. Maybe talking about this with your wife will help just to get some emotions out. There's a whole lot I could say about this, but I would just be repeating what others have told me, so maybe check out my post about this on this board?