Why this? Why that?

[Thelostchild]

Why is it that its so hard for me to cry and express my feelings when I'm in therapy and even when I'm not in therapy.? I mean Im always telling him how I feel but I'm always holding allot of emotions back other then anger or anxiety.? SOmetimes I think that It would be easyer to watch my every movement and everyday life to see how I really am. But thats just not going to happen. So how am' I supposed to express My feelings and to have them truly meant to be.

And I'm currently working on in therapy how to be a postive person and how to love my self. But how am' I supposed to do that when I have a negative person in my life. I can't just aviod this person.? I'm between a rock and a hard spot? And then when bad things come my way how am' I supposed to react to them? Maybe thats a question I need to figure out for myself.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Why is it that its so hard for me to cry and express my feelings when I'm in therapy and even when I'm not in therapy. I mean Im always telling him how I feel but I'm always holding allot of emotions back other then anger or anxiety.

It's a shield. And the solution is to work toward feeling safe with one or more people so you can learn that you don't have to be on guard against the whole world - only certain people in it.

But how am' I supposed to do that when I have a negative person in my life. I can't just aviod this person. I'm between a rock and a hard spot? And then when bad things come my way how am' I supposed to react to them?

You can't change that other person. But you can learn not to react to that other person any more - sometimes that's a very difficult thing to do but you can learn to do it.

 

[Thelostchild]

Is it me or do I just ask allot of questions that I could just figure out on my own with a little bit of thinking time? I Thought that I felt comfortable enough when I was In therapy now I know that Im not?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Sometimes asking questions out loud helps to clarify your own thoughts - and even to answer the questions yourself. Nothing wrong with that.

As for therapy being confortable, that's not necessarily the goal of therapy. The goal is positive change - sometimes, probably usually, that means stretching yourself outside your comnfort zone - sometimes it even means increasing your level of distress for a while in order to move beyond it.

 

[Peanut]

Sometimes asking questions out loud helps to clarify your own thoughts - and even to answer the questions yourself

I definitely agree with that. Sometimes when I get stuck on a homework problem, I go and pose the question to someone else (usually my husband) and just by me reiterating what the problem is, I am suddenly able to figure out the answer on my own...it's a strange phenomenon because I can be stuck on the problem FOREVER but then after I ask him it takes me like 2 seconds to figure it out.

I don't know if it is the saying it out loud that helps or rephrasing it so someone else can understand it...but it really helps.

 

[Thelostchild]

Thats very true, I guess thats why I ask so many questions or I just think and talk out loud.