Worried about being dumped by therapist

[boi]

I worry that I will be dumped by my therapist? I don't always worry about it. It comes in waves. I definitely will talk about it when my T comes back from vacation. ya the dreaded vacation sorry I sometimes think she will send me away because she will say there is nothing wrong with me.

I know logically that wont happen but the feeling is there.

unwarranted feeling maybe.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Just keep trying to remind yourself that it's only a worry. We all worry about things. People with tendencies toward obsessive thinking worry in repetitive and catastrophic ways but it represents the same process.

The worry is just that - a worry. It has no foundation in reality and it is highly unlikely that your therapist would suddenly "dump" you for being too healthy.

 

[boi]

thank you...I needed to hear that...I wanted to add that I sometimes bring up so many issues at once(in therapy). I am not very focused. I go on and on and then all of a sudden I am somewhere else. My T said that's ok as well. We have discussed it and I apologize for doing it when it happens. Even though its ok I think about it being a little distracting to the T(and thats why I feel like Ill get dumped). Either way, I know this is all my warped thinking so I need to think that this is just a worry like you said and not to really think about it. out

 

[Banned]

Hi boi,

I just wanted to say too that you're likely not alone in these thoughts and feelings and as Dr. Baxter says - they are just thoughts.

I've been my own worst enemy in so many ways in therapy, but one of them has been not wanting to get better so I don't lose my therapist. As long as I stay "sick", I have my therapist, and life is good. For me, it was like falling into learned helplessness - as long as I had my therapist to be my crutch, I never had to learn to walk.

You'll find that as you truly do get better, you may not have these worries, because you'll start to feel strong enough and have the skills to stand on your own two feet, and your therapist's influence will lessen as will the thoughts.

 

[boi]

hi turtle
ya, thanks. I know exactly what you mean. I hoping to reach that stage at some point.

 

[Banned]

It takes time. For me...years. There was a time when I didn't believe I could ever live without therapy. It's all I thought about...obsessed about. I wondered how the rest of the world got through life without it.

As you get healthier, and learn more about yourself and put differnt tools in your therapy tool box, the thoughts become less and less empowering. At one point, when I first started therapy, they were literally crippling. It was horrible. But I think it's pretty normal, and like I said, they'll subside in time, as you put the work and start seeing and experiencing change in your life.

 

[Into The Light]

i think it's part of the process to talk about one thing and then go to another and then another. i've done it a lot. sometimes its fueled by current happenings in my life that will yank my attention to a certain issue in my life. sometimes it's that we've worked on one layer of something, and when enough of it is processed, something else that needs attention starts to come up for me until i've worked through that a certain amount. then the first thing might come up again (another layer of that same thing). therapy is rarely linear, is what i have been told, and it certainly has held true for me.

 

[boi]

thanks ITL. I guess I'm learning the process as it goes as well. I hope to be able to talk about difficult feelings soon as I tend to intellectualize many things and not actually "feel" them. I'm getting there...

 

[Into The Light]

yup, i intellectualize too. i think a lot of people do. it's a coping mechanism. if you find it's really getting in the way of feeling your feelings, that's another thing to bring up in session so a different approach can be tried to allow you to actually feel. that can be pretty scary and hard but the only way to let go of those feelings is to let yourself experience them. glad you're getting there