You can lead a horse to water...

[Debbir5347]

My daughter has Borderline Personality Disorder and when she has a bad episode; a reality check really, aware that she has a problem and needs help, I would like to have some suggestions to offer her on how to cope with her anger, paranoia, mistrust,etc. that she goes through on a daily basis. I have made several appts. which she refuses to go to when they come around...her many "reasons" include not wanting to be labled, it's a made-up illness anyway, and the honest truth is she will lie anyway and present herself as anything but having a problem at all (very intelligent and manipulative). It's only when she has a breakdown that she ernestly admits it and asks for help. What can I do? She is 21 by the way but not capable of being responsible for such things and as the post says, I can't make her. Any BP's out there that have learned strategies or techniques to pass along? Thanks, Debbi

 

[Clockwork]

I have rapid cycling Bipolar disorder and Bipolar is very simular to BPD regarding the symptoms such as mood swings and paranoia etc. I get paranoid and I am aware that I am paranoid but there is not much I can do about it. I get angry and bitter when I am depressed and can't get out of it even though I know it is counterproductive. The medications help but can only do so much in my situation. I don't know what you can do honestly. Other then be there for her and get help for yourself. She may need you more then she thinks right now. Generaly people get worse over time. Not everyone gets worse but a good majority of untreated individuals do. Personaly I think being educated regarding the disorder may help you and your daughter understand the disorder. I find many people I work with have no clue about there disorder other then the little information they have been told. knowledge is power. Knowing may not change the situation and symptoms but at least you can monitor yourself and work with the Dr instead of being a passive subject. I would also suggest going to see a couple of Drs. It often takes years to get a proper diagnosis. Not to say she does not have BPD but often the diagnosis changes over time. It's not a bad thing either. Some of the most creative inteligent people have suffered from a Mental ilness of some sort.

 

[Debbir5347]

Thank you for your input. I am actually quite knowledgeable about BPD (not to say I know it all of course, but I am constantly researching). The one thing that you said that is a little confusing to me is that generally people get worse with this condition... From what I have read and been told, it typically gets better over time - most times between the ages of 35-40. Perhaps that was only if properly medicated and with therapy, I'm not sure. Unfortunately, she will do neither of those things :-(
I am always here for her but just wish I knew a few strategies to teach her how to deal rather than me being the only strength in her world...not only is it exhausting for me but God forbid something happens to me and she hasn't learned how to cope on her own.
Thanks for sharing and caring. *Debbi