exhausted mom
Member
I believe my 13 yr old son is a psychopath. He has been diagnosed with ADHD when he was about 2 or 3. Since then we have received the diagnoses of ODD(now conduct disorder), Tourette Syndrome and Bipolar. He has been 'different' since he was little. He had oxygen deprivation at birth and I think this is a big part of the issue.
As he gets older things progress and get worse.
Our life has become utterly chaotic. It is constant screaming, yelling, swearing and name calling. I have been called the most vile names …things I could not imagine calling my worst enemy. He has a twin brother, and older brother and a baby sister. The 2 boys have been hurt physically and emotionally on a daily basis. He has called his little sister bad names and has recently made sexual remarks to her. To the best of my knowledge he has not done anything to her sexually but I can’t say for certain that he won’t. He has done sexual things to our dogs.
He has started fires, threatened us with knives, destroyed property and damaged walls/doors/windows, stolen money, run away, tried marijuana and drank alcohol.
He is not in mainstream school anymore. He was in mainstream school until 2 yrs ago and since then has gone so far downhill with his schooling that the prospect of him going back looks bleak. He is very smart, we have had him tested, but he does not care.
The main issue is he does not care. I don’t mean he does not care like teenagers don’t care….he really does not care. He has told me he does not care. In his words “ I know what I am doing is wrong and hurts people, but I don’t care. I do this because I want to and that is all I care about. I don’t care what happens as long as I can do what I want.”
How do you live with someone who does not care or have any empathy? I had a heart to heart talk with him, I was crying and telling him how I love him and want him to be ok…..after I was done talking he began laughing hysterically. I was shocked and could not believe what I was seeing or hearing.
Our home life now consists of us hearing his door open in the morning, at this point we all look at each other and think or say “here we go again”. He gets up and starts calling everyone names. He will make food that he won’t eat and if I tell him not to make it he will tell me to go F myself and add some vile names to it. Once he is gone to school it is a matter of waiting for an email of phone call regarding his behaviors. When he gets home the chaos begins again. The evening is spent monitoring his activity to make sure everyone is safe. There is swearing, screaming, yelling, hitting, kicking doors and walls. He listens to nothing and has no respect for anyone.
We can’t go out or he will start swearing in public. We can’t have people in because of these behaviors. We are isolated and stuck.
I have taken him to every doctor/psychologist/psychiatrist I can. He was hospitalized twice in behavior hospitals (when we lived in the US), I have read every book I can, looked online for answers. Nothing works. The medication is better than nothing but not good. I have called every agency I can and we get nowhere.
It reached a point 2 days ago when I realized that while I love him, I can’t sacrifice my other children for him. I took him to Social Services and told them I could not keep him anymore.
Now I am afraid I have made a huge mistake. My husband (not his dad) and I don’t know what else to do though.
Since he has been gone things have been calm, it is not something any of us are used to. I know it is normal but our sense of normal has been so messed up that this is weird now.
I looked up psychopathic symptoms
1. Glibness/superficial charm
2. Grandiose sense of self-worth
3. Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
4. Pathological lying
5. Conning/manipulative
6. Lack of remorse or guilt
7. Shallow affect
8. Callous/lack of empathy
9. Parasitic lifestyle
10. Poor behavioural controls
11. Promiscuous sexual behaviour
12. Early behaviour problems
13. Lack of realistic, long-term plans
14. Impulsivity
15. Irresponsibility
16. Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
17. Many short-term relationships
18. Juvenile delinquency
And they are all my son.
I don’t know where else to turn or what else to do. My other children and normal and healthy (oldest one has ADHD) and I want to keep them like that. I have given my son up though and how does a mother reconcile that? I need to hit a point where I know he is not getting better and probably won’t. Is there a chance he will get better?
Any advice would be appreciated.
I wanted to add 2 things. He has told me he does not like people and people annoy him. He is happier alone unless he is bugging people. The other thing is he said that he figured out why his baby sister wants to climb on him....he said, 'I figured out that she loves me and wants me to love her, but I can't sometimes.'
He can't love.
As he gets older things progress and get worse.
Our life has become utterly chaotic. It is constant screaming, yelling, swearing and name calling. I have been called the most vile names …things I could not imagine calling my worst enemy. He has a twin brother, and older brother and a baby sister. The 2 boys have been hurt physically and emotionally on a daily basis. He has called his little sister bad names and has recently made sexual remarks to her. To the best of my knowledge he has not done anything to her sexually but I can’t say for certain that he won’t. He has done sexual things to our dogs.
He has started fires, threatened us with knives, destroyed property and damaged walls/doors/windows, stolen money, run away, tried marijuana and drank alcohol.
He is not in mainstream school anymore. He was in mainstream school until 2 yrs ago and since then has gone so far downhill with his schooling that the prospect of him going back looks bleak. He is very smart, we have had him tested, but he does not care.
The main issue is he does not care. I don’t mean he does not care like teenagers don’t care….he really does not care. He has told me he does not care. In his words “ I know what I am doing is wrong and hurts people, but I don’t care. I do this because I want to and that is all I care about. I don’t care what happens as long as I can do what I want.”
How do you live with someone who does not care or have any empathy? I had a heart to heart talk with him, I was crying and telling him how I love him and want him to be ok…..after I was done talking he began laughing hysterically. I was shocked and could not believe what I was seeing or hearing.
Our home life now consists of us hearing his door open in the morning, at this point we all look at each other and think or say “here we go again”. He gets up and starts calling everyone names. He will make food that he won’t eat and if I tell him not to make it he will tell me to go F myself and add some vile names to it. Once he is gone to school it is a matter of waiting for an email of phone call regarding his behaviors. When he gets home the chaos begins again. The evening is spent monitoring his activity to make sure everyone is safe. There is swearing, screaming, yelling, hitting, kicking doors and walls. He listens to nothing and has no respect for anyone.
We can’t go out or he will start swearing in public. We can’t have people in because of these behaviors. We are isolated and stuck.
I have taken him to every doctor/psychologist/psychiatrist I can. He was hospitalized twice in behavior hospitals (when we lived in the US), I have read every book I can, looked online for answers. Nothing works. The medication is better than nothing but not good. I have called every agency I can and we get nowhere.
It reached a point 2 days ago when I realized that while I love him, I can’t sacrifice my other children for him. I took him to Social Services and told them I could not keep him anymore.
Now I am afraid I have made a huge mistake. My husband (not his dad) and I don’t know what else to do though.
Since he has been gone things have been calm, it is not something any of us are used to. I know it is normal but our sense of normal has been so messed up that this is weird now.
I looked up psychopathic symptoms
1. Glibness/superficial charm
2. Grandiose sense of self-worth
3. Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
4. Pathological lying
5. Conning/manipulative
6. Lack of remorse or guilt
7. Shallow affect
8. Callous/lack of empathy
9. Parasitic lifestyle
10. Poor behavioural controls
11. Promiscuous sexual behaviour
12. Early behaviour problems
13. Lack of realistic, long-term plans
14. Impulsivity
15. Irresponsibility
16. Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
17. Many short-term relationships
18. Juvenile delinquency
And they are all my son.
I don’t know where else to turn or what else to do. My other children and normal and healthy (oldest one has ADHD) and I want to keep them like that. I have given my son up though and how does a mother reconcile that? I need to hit a point where I know he is not getting better and probably won’t. Is there a chance he will get better?
Any advice would be appreciated.
I wanted to add 2 things. He has told me he does not like people and people annoy him. He is happier alone unless he is bugging people. The other thing is he said that he figured out why his baby sister wants to climb on him....he said, 'I figured out that she loves me and wants me to love her, but I can't sometimes.'
He can't love.
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