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    "I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time."
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just mary

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Hi,

I talked to someone new today, she was a counsellor through my Employee Assistance Program (EAP) at work. I feel deflated, lost and back to square one. I decided to try the EAP because it's free and my finances are a little tight these days. But I guess she wasn't like my previous therapist and I just couldn't open up to her. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm finding it very difficult to switch therapists. After I opened up to someone about some very emotional issues and learned to trust them, the thought of starting all over again seems insurmountable and just plain tiring. In addition, since the EAP free, I can't really choose who I want to talk to, I'm just assigned. It all seems so daunting.

Just venting.

Thanks.
 

ThatLady

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In my experience, there's always some trepidation associated with starting out with a new therapist. What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Start off slowly with the new therapist and see how things go. It also never hurts to tell the new person you're seeing of your concerns. They'll understand, as they've seen it many times before. It will also give her a clue as to how to pace your therapy to do you the most good.

Good luck and hugs, hon. :eek:)
 

just mary

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Thanks for the support ThatLady, it's appreciated. But I have to be honest, I don't think I'm going back. But I may change my mnd. In the meantime, I'm going to have to think of alternatives.

Thanks again.
 

David Baxter

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Unfortunately, EAP programs don't usually give you access to the most qualified or experienced therapists. In truth, they pay the counsellors very little and mainly look for warm bodies to see their EAP clients, rather than trying to attract qualified people. And since EAP contracts are awarded to EAP firms based on bids, they are pretty much always trying to cut corners to make a profit.

I had an agreement to be a provider for a short while with an EAP firm who won a contract with a large well-known organization to provide up to 10 sessions per employee. Then they tried to tell us we should try to cut the clients off at 5 or 6 sessions. I asked them, "So do you want me to tell clients they really don't have 10 sessions?" -- they replied, "Oh no, please don't tell them that! Just try to terminate counselling after 5 or 6 sessions...".

I don't think so. I don't and won't work that way. And now I don't do EAP.

But you can sometimes approach the EAP provider and tell them you want a specific provider. I have been in that position a few times -- when approached, I lay out clearly how i do business and tell the EAP firm that if they're unhappy with that they can find someone else.

Maybe there's an option in there somewhere for you, Mary.
 

just mary

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Thanks for the information.

She did seem a little inexperienced but she was sincere and she did want to help, however her basic suggestion was that I look for relaxation techniques on the Internet. Oh well.

Anyways, I'll look into specifying a provider and hopefully something will come of it.

Thanks again.
 

HA

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Hello Mary,

I just recently used EAP to see a therapist and was really pleased with the organization. I was told that I did not have a limit on the number of sessions. As long as I needed it I could use it. I also was told that I could see as many therapists as I needed for an introduction session untill I found one that was a good fit. Many of the therapists are social workers and the first one I met with I was comfortable with. She was helpful and in a convient location for me.

Ideally, I would like to find a therapist who has a family member with schizophrenia. I think I would feel the most comfortable with this person if there was a good fit. How would I find such a therapist? I'd like to have a therapist that I could see when needed over time rather then one here and there, even though they have all been helpful.
 

David Baxter

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I just recently used EAP to see a therapist and was really pleased with the organization. I was told that I did not have a limit on the number of sessions. As long as I needed it I could use it. I also was told that I could see as many therapists as I needed for an introduction session untill I found one that was a good fit.
Wow! That's excellent. And quite unusual. I wish more were like that...
 

David Baxter

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They have different contracts depending on the organization that contracts their services. You were fortunate.
 

just mary

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Messages
754
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Hi,

Thanks again for the information. My EAP was not like yours HeartArt. I went to it (the first time) about five years ago and was told that I had five maybe seven sessions and then they like to "wrap things up". I was also told that I would be discussed among the group and that made me physically ill.

So, I invested in a private therapist. I had coverage for the first $350. Interestingly enough, this is the same amount you can spend on a massage therapist (MT) except you don't need a referral from a GP to see an MT. If you want to see a psychologist however, you need a referral. And in my plan you can't see any therapist it has to be a clinical psychologist, someone with a Phd in psychology and certification in the provincial psychology association. Which is fine, that doesn't bother me, I like those types of safeguards. However, with a Phd comes higher fees, but again that's explainable, you spend 10 to 14 years in school and training, you would like to be paid a half decent wage. Which brings us back to the $350, if your seeing a certified clinical psychologist this might cover four to five sessions. Anyways, I'm rambling again.

I think I'm just venting again.

And I lost a friend today, not in the physical sense, she just moved on. And it hurts since she was the last person I knew who I could really talk to. I take responsibility however, I'm a lousy friend. I just feel low.

Bye for now and thanks.
 

Kylie

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Hi just wanted to say I know how you feel I changed therapists and found it really difficult and felt like I was back at square one, but it does get better and you just have to learn to trust again
Hope things work out well xx
 

HA

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Venting is good, Mary.

I was so comfortable with my first therapist from the univeristy counselling department that when I had to take the semester off, I continued to see her in her private practice and she offered me a sliding scale so I could afford to pay her. It was still expensive but it was worth the cost (I had to borrow to pay for it). I think your mental health should be a priority over cost when there are no other options. To ignore your mental health will end up being much more costly in the long run.

That's what worked for me and I hope that you can find something that works for you too.

Hugs
 

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