More threads by iam*who*iam


i watched intervention friday, and the lady on it reminded me of my stepmom..who is an alcoholic.

she has always told me that she wants me to get better from all of my issues..

and i decided it was time to tell her how i feel about hers.

i did it in a very nice way.

i told her i care about her and i want her to be able to live a happy life like she deserves, and that drinking will not do that for her.

that it will do nothing but destroy her in the end..and will not numb her from the guilt and pain that is unresolved.

i don't remember what all else i said..but it was along those lines..

just trying to tell her from my own perspective, that hurting ourselves, in order to get rid of pain, doesn't make things any better.

i'm not sure how she'll respond.

i just have gotten tired of her, all these years, telling me that i deserve a better life, when she won't even get help for herself.

and also, i added, that i'm sure she doesn't want another accident to happen (like one recently where she doesn't even remember).

so i'll see if she even responds..i hope she'll be open minded and open hearted about it.

she always is with other things..

i don't expect her to suddenly go out and get help..i just wanted her to know how i feel..since i've never told her.


Re: a letter to my stepmom

That was a kind and thoughtful thing to do, Iamwho.
i think this is a good thing you did, for both you and her. for you because you finally expressed your thoughts and feelings on her troubles and her drinking, and for her because she can hear from someone who cares that it matters too how she is doing in life.

let us know how she responds.


That was a very caring thing to do, Iam. Hopefully, she will read your words and take them to heart. Words that come from love have the best chance of breaking through the barriers and helping to effect change.


Dr. Meg, Global Moderator, Practitioner
That was a brave thing to do. :hug: I hope that it is helpful to your stepmother and to you.


she never responded...and my dad never did mention if she got the letter or not.


David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
I usually suggest to people that letters such as the one you wrote to your mom should be written only for yourself with the expectation that it won't get a reply. By that I mean the letter was written because it said things you needed to say - you have accomplished that goal whether or not she ever responds to it, and that's something to be proud of.

Also, I think it's safe to assume she received it, or soon will. And if I know human nature, she would have read it. Therefore, you have made your point, got your message across. That's all you can ever do anyway. What she does with the information is up to her.


yeah that is true.

i guess i'm slightly ****ed off, just because of all the times drunk or not, she's went on and on about how i should get i'm too beautiful of a person to hurt myself...

and because i could never tell her to stop, and look in the mirror..and since it was face to face, i couldn't get out of responding to her.

i also just want it to be acknowledged..because i've always needed to have approval.

like..i don't know..

both of them say how much they love me and it's only ever been in words, not really actions.

so i always doubt they do love me like they say, esp. since they choose their drug/alcohol addictions over me and my sister.

i need to stop thinking that my words and actions can actually make someone change..

i am not that powerful, and i have to stop thinking i am.

i know it's up to them..

it's their loss..even though it hurts me...

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