A little miserable

[boi]

I have been feeling deperessed again. I am waiting to come out of my current mood into something normal or up.It's not happening. I am going back on my meds. I havent been taking anything for 2 weeks. I think the meds worked somewhat. I might be changing meds too I am going to go to a specialist about that. I am sleeping 13 hour days and feeling unmotivated and flat and it sucks. Its been like this for the past month. I had one good day.

I feel like its hopeless and I dont even know if therapy is working for me. I feel like I need to just go back to my old life and use drugs again. at least I was motivated. I know this is probably not the right thing to do.

I hate having a mood disorder. It's either be like this or take medication and hopefully that will work better. I feel like this is my fault and its my thinking and attitude thats causing this. I am not in a good state of mind. sorry for my rant and complaints.

I know I don't contribute that much to this board and I'm sorry for that. I sometimes think I have nothing to say or what I will say will make things worse.

 

[Jazzey]

Re: a little miserable

Hi Boi,

I'm sorry you've been struggling lately. I've been there myself lately.

I hope you know that it's not hopeless - it just feels that way because you're depressed right now. I understand the feeling.

As for turning back to drugs, this would only worsen the symptoms of your mood disorder - I know you already know this.

When are you starting your new medications? Are you doing things to still take care of yourself (eating properly, trying to exercise)?

I know it's tough right now - but hang in there Boi.

As for not sharing on these boards - don't worry about it Boi. We all do just what we can and you have supported many of us in the past. There's no tit for tat around here. :hug::hug:

 

[boi]

Re: a little miserable

thanks jazzey for your encouragement. I will be assesed in a few months probably. It takes that long to get an appointment.

In the meantime, I'm going to start my old meds again. I am going on vacation soon and I dont want to be like this.

 

[Jazzey]

Re: a little miserable

Hang in there Boi. And please lean on us during the wait time.

 

[Meg]

Hi boi,

Sorry to hear you're going through a low time. I can understand the appeal of going back to old coping habits like using drugs. It can all get a bit overwhelming and it'd be nice to have a bit of time-out where you don't have to think about it. You know, though, that drugs cause more problems than they solve. I know that therapy is a big emotional investment, especially when you're not feeling motivated. If you aren't sure that it's helping I suggest that you bring this up with your therapist so that you can have a chat about it. I'm glad that you have a specialist appointment coming up and that you're going back on your medication. It's good that you've got a holiday planned, too! It's always nice to have something to look forward to.

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi Boi i hope you have a better day tommorrow. I hope going back on your meds helps with your depression take care nice to see you here

 

[Always Changing]

:hug: boi, hope you start to feel better soon. In the meantime, keep posting if you can, or want to, or need to because you have lots of people here for you and together we can help you through this rough patch.

take care

 

[Trust]

I have been feeling deperessed again. I am waiting to come out of my current mood into something normal or up.It's not happening. I am going back on my meds. I havent been taking anything for 2 weeks. I think the meds worked somewhat. I might be changing meds too I am going to go to a specialist about that. I am sleeping 13 hour days and feeling unmotivated and flat and it sucks. Its been like this for the past month. I had one good day.

I feel like its hopeless and I dont even know if therapy is working for me. I feel like I need to just go back to my old life and use drugs again. at least I was motivated. I know this is probably not the right thing to do.

I hate having a mood disorder. It's either be like this or take medication and hopefully that will work better. I feel like this is my fault and its my thinking and attitude thats causing this. I am not in a good state of mind. sorry for my rant and complaints.

I know I don't contribute that much to this board and I'm sorry for that. I sometimes think I have nothing to say or what I will say will make things worse.

Hey Boi! I love your post!! Your honesty and courage to express how you really feel is admirable!! :2thumbs:

Beyond your feelings of discouragement, I see so much hope in your words - if you had given up on yourself and chose to complicate your life with drugs, you wouldn't be here reaching out, sharing your vulnerable feelings and realizing that you can get through -- and many people are here to help you find the way to help yourself!

I'm sure it is not easy to have a mood disorder, but like any other illness, it is not your fault so I think your should give yourself a big pat on the back for participating in your therapy and for taking your meds even when it may not feel in the moment, or even for many moments, that your efforts are working out! Boi you are very resilient and it is a healthy thing you are doing for yourself! It will get better as time goes along and you are proving to yourself that you have what it takes to keep trying!:2thumbs:

I hope you enjoy your holiday, Boi! I wish I could hitch a ride with you!:lol:

 

[boi]

thanks everyone for your encouragement. I really appreciate it. hopefully Ill feel better soon.

 

[ladylore]

I hope you feel better soon too Boi.