More threads by chell


l have read alot of these posts on here before writing myself. l met my supposed "one and only" on line and we lived an hour apart. l guess there were red flags from the beginning and as they say, Love is blind, because it was me who chose to ignore them.

First date, he kept insisting he wanted to get to know me better and later on in the evening , he was telling me his life story in detail plus his medical history of being Bi Polar (testing my reaction as he told me later) and asking how l would like to ever move to be closer to him in his Province as l lived in the neighboring Province in Ontario. l myself have Panic/Anxiety Disorder with PTSD.

He drove an hour every day to see me which just delighted me, often sending his kids to sitters (which again l ignored the red flag) as to what kind of parenting skills he had, thinking his feelings were just so strong for me, when now l look back, it was his own ego and lust he was satisfying over his children's needs.

He eventually got me to move to where he lived in a very small town in Quebec, and to which l came to find out that he never told his two teen children, ( as he claimed to have told me they were excited about me moving in, as later all hell broke loose) and he left me to deal with the kids alone as he said he could not deal with stress of any kind and l thought l was going to have a mental breakdown.

After a year of him telling me how much he loved me and needed me he turned over in bed one night two weeks before Christmas this past year, that he changed his mind about our relationship, no longer felt anything for me , wanted my daughter and l out of his house ASAP, with no money, or a place to live and come what may, no help from him what so ever.

Going from a Woman's Shelter to the house where my Daughter and I live now, he sent a basket of things , thus erasing any traces of us from his home that we were ever even living there and l am the only one who ever grieved over us. l have had some pretty bleak days, in which my Psychiatrist has now increased and changed some of my meds to help me cope and my Ex is now concentrating his new life on his other woman l found out he had been seeing when he asked me to leave.

l have been very hurt emotionally by him as he is himself a PsychoTherapist and knew my weak spots and used them against me, as well as ending our relationship the way he did.
l am not sure how long it takes to get over this and being 43, if there will ever be a chance to get into another relationship and be able to trust a man again or if l give up now and just kind of let go and realize that this is it.

l have given myself time and don't mind being alone and there is no way l ever want this person back into my life again after all that he has done so l was wondering if that means l have healed now.

Daniel E.
...being 43, if there will ever be a chance to get into another relationship and be able to trust a man again or if l give up now and just kind of let go and realize that this is it.

I would think in such circumstances the next relationship is often something in between in which one trusts a romantic parter to a significant degree but is more cautious, e.g. more wary about finances if the relationship ends abruptly.

For some cold comfort:
Love Sick: Love as a Mental Illness
43 may seem "old" and "too late" to meet another life partner, but i don't really believe that. you could be single for x years and maybe meet a very nice person with whom you hit it off with. there's no telling. for now i would just take the time to heal from this and get settled in your new life. just worry about you and your kids, and take it from there.
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