Am I to blame for my anxiety?

[lallieth]

Someone told me today that they thought it was my fault that I was having anxiety by thinking certain things or thoughts that would trigger it and that I am doing it to prove something to myself

This made me angry at first because I thought in no way am I encouraging the anxiety to prove anything..but then I began to think.How much is anxiety costing me and what is the payback..if anything?

I realize that anxiety brings me attention and so when I feel anxious I try not let anyone know,but ironically,that makes me feel alone and more anxious.

I have an incredibly supportive family and husband,and we are walking this path together as a family.While I realize my husband gets frustrated at times,he is quick to love and support

My brothers,mom and dad had either anxiety/depression so I come from a long line and each has walked the path

One of my brothers emailed me with his thoughts on anxiety (which he has battled)

Here's an interesting question - do the thoughts cause the anxiety or does the anxiety cause the thoughts? Or is it a little of column A, a little of column B?

So many times we think that we feel or feel that we think that when one or the other happens we think it is the other. As nutty as it sounds.

So I suppose when we can make a determination about the nature of anxiety, we are well on our way to taking the steps necessary to bring in under control.

It makes sense to me,but putting that into action is another fork in the road..

Which brings me to the question "is having anxiety perpetuating a victim attitude and have I become TOO comfortable in this role?"

 

[Retired]

Re: Am I to Blame for My anxiety?

do the thoughts cause the anxiety or does the anxiety cause the thoughts?

There is a technical term that describes this type of anxiety which feeds on itself, but I just cannot think of it. Perhaps someone else knows the term I mean.

Anxiety about experiencing anxiety

 

[Into The Light]

Re: Am I to Blame for My anxiety?

Anxiety about experiencing anxiety

that's in the same category as being depressed about being depressed. funny how life works sometimes.

 

[lallieth]

Re: Am I to Blame for My anxiety?

Anxiety about experiencing anxiety

How ironic,yet true.I have walked around with the "what if's" for a long time.Having anxiety one day,and yet another day not feeling it at all,brings about "what if I do have it today" which of course can cause me to feel anxiety..perpetual.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: Am I to Blame for My anxiety?

No, you're not "to blame" for your anxiety any more than you are "to blame" for your hair color or eye color.

But depending on how you react to anxiety triggers, you can either make the anxiety better or worse - that in fact is the basis for cognitive behavior therapy (CBT).

 

[lallieth]

Re: Am I to Blame for My anxiety?

No, you're not "to blame" for your anxiety any more than you are "to blame" for your hair color or eye color.

But depending on how you react to anxiety triggers, you can either make the anxiety better or worse - that in fact is the basis for cognitive behavior therapy (CBT).

That's what I desire to do,start working on issues perhaps I wasn't ready to work on 8 years ago..While I have come a long way on my own,I realize it's time now to start working on the deeper side and I really would like to try CBT

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Have a look at Good books on Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT): David Burns and When Panic Attacks: New CBT book by David Burns.

 

[lallieth]

Thank you!

I do have the Feeling Good-The new Mood therapy..I will go and dig it up again

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Feeling Good: The New Therapy focuses primarily on depression. You might find one of his other books more useful for anxiety.

 

[lallieth]

I actually couldnt find the New Mood,but I did order from Chapters,another author I have liked in the past- "Coping with Anxiety: 10 Simple Ways to Relieve Anxiety, Fear and Worry" & The Anxiety & phobia workbook- Edmund J Bourne