Anger as a tool

[forgetmenot]

When i have anger i can do anything it pushes me past the fears
Anger allowed me to pick up dam phone and call roads dept about my road being unpassable at times for the construction idiots leaving piles of mud for me to moneuver through.
I have told them before ambulance must be able to get through and i should not have to worry every time i go down road if will make it through mud pit.
Anger it pushes me pass fear
i have no fear when i have anger but why then do i feel so dam bad after using it
It allowed me to be productive to be heard instead of being so dam weak
oh im tired now it tires one out so much but i am glad it comes because without it i would sit and do nothing

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Yes, anger can be energizing and at times in the short run it feels better than depression or anxiety, but over the longer term it can be destructive.... it's not a long term solution at all.

 

[Retired]

I found that when trying to problem solve in dealing with companies, govenrments etc, the same results can be achieved by speaking in a polite, but assertive manner but keeping the emotional anger under check.

Anger usually escalates emotions on both sides, making it difficult to think clearly and logically, but but keeping emotions in check with the same energy directed toward stating your case assertively allows you to stay one step ahead of of the conflict, if one develops.

However, in most cases, the people who answer the phones in customer service jobs are there beause they generally like helping people. Let's face it, they are doing a job, and if they work in a "complaint" department, they are often verbally abused by inconsiderate clients. A polite, respectful call can be a refreshing change, and can sometimes yield suprising results.

If the person cannot help you, it might be their level of authority has been reached, so you might, respectfully ask to speak to a supervisor.

My experience has been that supervisors usually have more latitude in solving problems, but again the polite, respectful and assertive approach usually works best.

Sometimes, though, an issue cannot be resolved, so it helps to have a point of concession, or "surrender" in mind, so when you've exhausted all your arguments and see you won't get the expected result, be able to concede and walk away.

So you might be angry at a situation, but if you have to confront someone to resolve a problem, it might help to take the time needed to collect your thoughts, plan a strategy and keep emotions under control and present your case in an assertive and convincing manner.

 

[forgetmenot]

The lady was very helpful she said she would contact roads dept
i do not show my anger really i use it i use it to push me to do the things needed to be done
i have what i want to say in my mind before calling
i have all the facts, dates, the company and i state what my concerns are and what needs to be done and then i call
Showing anger towards others is not good no but using built up anger inside helps as it forces me to react to do things needed to be done
I get so tired because it takes so much energy to make one phone call but with anger i can do it and then my mind is calm again
Anger helps it does it is way better then depression and anxiety one emotion that is useful unlike the other emotions.

 

[Daniel E.]

Anger helps it does it is way better then depression and anxiety one emotion that is useful unlike the other emotions.

Anxiety/stress is another maligned emotion/mood that can be motivating for getting things done.

BTW, on the poetic side, an interesting Buddhist phrase of anger being "honey-tipped poison":

A Journey of Becoming

The phrase “Anger with its poisoned root and honeyed tip” made a deep impression on me. For many years, this honey-tipped poison ran through my veins and fed my body with fiery sensations and feelings. This honey-tipped poison had coursed through my body and mind so thoroughly thatto be angry became a familiar feeling, a comfort zone. As my investigation and meditation deepened, the poisonous nature of my anger became more stark and I became more aware and mindful of its nature, source, and arising. And when I understood that my anger was the source of my suffering, I was determined to uproot it.

The teaching of the Vietnamese meditation master came to mind:

When we are feeling anger we should hold it in our arms
with great tenderness. He said that bringing mindfulness to
the anger is like the sun shining on a flower; the flower
cannot resist opening when the sunshine penetrates it.
Likewise, when we hold the anger with love and
compassion, it opens and reveals its depth and roots.
(Goldstein, 2002, p.114)​

 

[forgetmenot]

anger is only poisonous if you use it to hurt others
i use anger to push me into doing something i feel like someone when i have it because i have no fear i have the ability to talk up not stay quiet i am not weak anymore
I think the anger comes when i need it then it goes away again i am very mindful of its power that is for sure because i don't want to hurt anyone with it ever again
the greatest anger is with in me and at me but i know i can't use that kind of anger
i think there are many different types of anger one that is useful and one that is destructive
one does not feel invisible when it is present
it is like i get a feeling that i am someone maybe because i got someone to hear my voice maybe that is why i find it so comforting maybe
no one can harm me when i have anger noone

 

[Daniel E.]

It reminds me of when people are partly motivated by guilt to make phone calls, e.g. to call grandma.

 

[forgetmenot]

yes guilt can motivate as well but it does not give one that feeling of energy of power
guilt pushes you to do things that you don't really want to do but morally you should