Anger towards ignorance! A Rant and a Question

[HotthenCold]

Hello,

This post is likely to be a little disjointed because I'm not clear on what I want to say. I just need to pull the lever on the ol' brain dump and let this mental clog clear itself up.

I have a lot of anxiety (A LOT!!!) about ignorant, aggressive, negative people. It seems like such a massive number of people have so much poison in their minds and spirits and it gives me indigestion thinking about all this negativity!

When I start thinking about all the ignorance in people and all the misunderstandings that lead to pain and suffering it makes me terrified for out future! Also it makes me furious! I regularly hear friends, co-workers, etc., make such hateful and ignorant statements and it causes me to reject social interaction.

It worries me to hear people at work or social gatherings say things that are so ignorant.

I know it's arrogant to say but I consider myself pretty open minded and I really can't understand why so many people choose to keep feeding this cycle of negativity.

I know that when people make such statements it is because they are ignorant, insecure, and usually not that they are just mean. I know that if a lot of them really dealt with their owns issues and learned to be a little more compassionate then their negativity would simply dissolve, but I can't make them do that!

I am working to be more positive and optimistic, with some real success I should add, but I want to learn not to be so bothered by ignorance.

I guess why I'm sharing this is that I want to know what YOU do to deal with ignorance and hate and the anxiety/anger it causes you?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: Anger towards ignorance!!! Rant + Question.



What sort of ignorance are you talking about, Hotthencold? Can you provide some examples or hypothetical examples?

 

[boi]

Hi HotthenCold,
I know exactly what you mean. I have anxiety too and it makes me mad that people aren't a certain way. Basically I let them affect me. I internalize what they say. I am working on it too, that's part of my problem. I want society to be different. I can't accept the way people are. That's for me anyway. I was wondering what you are doing to work on that? I am just asking because I would like to try other techniques as well. I am trying to think more positively about the individuals. Try seeing them in a positive light. I also know it has something to do with me. I am trying to work on my own self worth so it won't bother me. I figure if I am more confident and secure with how I view myself other people's comments and opinions will not bother me.

 

[CarlaMarie]

My biggest problem is with the people who have closed minds. They have already made up their minds about people and topics they don't know much about. What I have decided is I have choices and I don't have to be around people like that if I don't want to. When I do have to be around people like that I can practice patience and tolorance. I can agree to disagree, talk about the weather. One of those people happens to be my mother in-law. We talk about the weather a lot. :lol:

 

[Andy]

One of those people happens to be my mother in-law. We talk about the weather a lot. :lol:

:teehee:

 

[bloodwood]

Hi Hotthencold,

I want to know what YOU do to deal with ignorance and hate and the anxiety/anger it causes you?[/quote}
One thing I try to do is remind myself that I am not responsible for them or what they believe or how they might hurt people. I also try to remind myself that I can still try to do the right thing even if they don't. Sometimes I want to give them a good shake though.

...make such hateful and ignorant statements and it causes me to reject social interaction.

I try to distance myself from people like this where possible. Not always possible though. A couple of people I work with say things that are ignorant, not intentionally mean, but ignorant. I can not change them but can suggest ideas when they are more calm or open.

My anxiety can come on more when I face dealing with someone that I might have to confront. Like someone that I tend to disagree with a lot. Just like for you facing the ignorant people you get stressed about. You feel you either have to shut up or confront the person. Sometimes you can raise an idea without attacking and having a dispute. There are ways for raising an issue that you fell strongly about while talking to someone you think is an ignorant person. I takes time and practice.

First remember that no one is black or white. Everybody is good and bad. If you can remember this you stop hating that person and see them as a basic flawed decent human. Many of those ignorant dumb people will go home and kiss their grandmother and worry about her. They will think about doing the right thing. They will worry about how they spoke to someone. They really aren't all bad and they all have their own story for why they are sometimes bad. They are human.

When you stop hating or being angry at a person you gain the ability to speak to them about these things without a confrontation. This reduces your anxiety if you dont face a possible confrontation. It takes practice but really works. See them as people. People who are responsile for themselves. You are only responsile for you. Each of them has good points too.
Peter - Sorry if I babbled a bit.

 

[Yuray]

Sorry if I babbled a bit.

you are forgiven..................

I know that when people make such statements it is because they are ignorant, insecure,

or just thoughtless.

but I want to learn not to be so bothered by ignorance.

Lower your expectations of these people, and come to expect exactly what they say. Someday they may surprise you and say something of substance.

I know it's arrogant to say but I consider myself pretty open minded

There's nothing arrogant about knowing one's own mind!

You write very informative posts. Coherent and to the point, complete with 'references' of a sort. Perhaps that's the 'writer' coming out.

 

[bloodwood]

you are forgiven.......

Uhm... Poetic licence!!!!!

..or just thoughtless.

For me this is a big part of it. These people just haven't experienced enough to be thoughtful. Their frame of reference is not the same as yours Hotthencold.

Peter

 

[HotthenCold]

Re: Anger towards ignorance!!! Rant + Question.

For example, at work some of the guys were trashing one of our team leads because he's either gay or they think he is.
They just started making crude comments and laughing derisively about him. Then one of the oldest ones starts saying "I can see two girls, but not two guys."
It's just frustrating to know that a more enlightened world is possible but to see such small minded, overly conservative ideas still persist. You can practically smell their fear of being cast out of the group for having an uncommon viewpoint.
It's silly to get so upset because I can't change their views, or judge them really (I'm not a saint and I've said/done cruel ignorant things before).
Also I know they maybe have just never been blessed to be surrounded by lots of intelligent compassionate people like I have been, but it still rankles me!!!

---------- Post added at 05:15 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:13 PM ----------

This one gets me all the time too. Especially since I know that once a mind is a little open, it tends to open exponentially more so thereafter, which means they've never even bothered to dip the tip of their toe in to the waters of enlightenment (corny , sorry)

---------- Post added at 05:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:15 PM ----------

. When I posted this rant I was having a "low" day lol, but I definitely am getting better at dealing with all these troublesome feelings.
I've noticed progress by trying always to be aware of my mental, physical, and spiritual states.
Another thing that has helped me progress is always trying to cultivate an awareness that
1) I am responsible for how I feel, no matter what curves get thrown my way (including thoughtless, racist, vicious a-holes)
2) The potential for feeling positive and relaxed ALWAYS exists
3) Life is too beautiful and too short to waste even a minute fretting about things that don't bring more light in to the world. (though I do waste many minutes fretting, the ideal is something to strive for still!)
4) I deserve to feel good.

I know it can be tough to peel your brain away from the bothersome situation, but obsessing over it and analyzing it is pointless so it makes the most sense to just keep hammering away at feeling good. It's like a snowball too. The beginning is a pain cuz you have to put so much extra work in bending down to ball up a small little wad of snow but once it has some mass the gravity takes over (if your going downhill. Perhaps not the best analogy)

 

[bloodwood]

Re: Anger towards ignorance!!! Rant + Question.

Hotthencold,
I have to say that you are your own wisest ally. The wisdom you have spouted is admirable.
We all get peeved and obsess a bit. The key is balance. One doctor I spoke called it "obsessive ruminations" when you get all caught up in worrying and reliving nasty stuff. It seems a good name for it. It is hard to be balanced, especially when you are on a low. That throws the whole perspective. Your four "Rules o' Life" are fantastic.

You watch things and understand what is going on and don't like it. It seems unfair. But you are not responsible for it happening or for preventing it. You are responsible for your own conduct. But as a decent person sometimes we want to change things.
You seem like a decent person.
Peter