How to Annoy the Pizza Guy
- Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
- Ask for the person who took your order last time.
- Ask if the pizza is organically grown..
- Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
- Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
- Order a one-inch pizza.
- Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
- Change your accent every three seconds.
- Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he says it, say, "Please don't mention that word."
- Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
- If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
- Imitate the order taker's voice.
- Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream GOODBYE at the top of your lungs.
- Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
- Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
- Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
- When they repeat your order, say, "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
- Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
