Anxiety connection?

[Chain Lightning]

As a kid, I was very fearful in certain situations...like at school I was susceptible to bulling...yet at home I was the bully. I was horrid, I made weapons and traps. Then I tested them on other kids. I did bad in school because I was really unfocused (ADD but never diagnosed). Basically my parents were over bearing, emotionally abusive and even physically abusive at times. I can say as a kid I was afraid of people and oversensitive but I never had an anxiety attack...

...until puberty. Then it was like boom...all the sudden I started having them. It started at school and public places...and then happened at home and around familiar people. I can't say exactly what I am anxious about...social interactions...feeling out of control talking to people...but about what I don't know. Anyhow there seems to be a connection between my anxiety and sex drive. I don't want to get too personal here but the more sex I have the less anxious I am. Its a problem for me also because its like I never have enough. I used to kind of kid about it..."there's something wrong with me" to my guy...but now I'm beginning to wonder for real.

I have also found that physical exercise helps (but only temporarily) with my anxiety. If I go for a long run I am relaxed for an hour or two enough to feel comfortable in public. Buts like I said, its only temporary. If I could just keep that "runner's high"!

I am not afraid of people anymore, I have good self esteem, I don't let people run over me...none of that...but still, the anxiety! Why?

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi Chain Lightning good question. I don't have any answers but i think asking a professional about this would help you. They can get you to see where the anxiety is coming from. Are you seeing anyone and if so bring this up with them okay. Maybe someone else here will get back to you as well take care mary

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Some people are vulnerable to anxiety, just like others are vulnerable to depression. It may well have a genetic or neurochmical basis, and the link to your comments about puberty and sexual activity is partly about the close interaction between the endocrine system (hormones) and neurochemistry.

Are you on any medication to help manage your anxiety? Have you had any counselling or psychotherapy to help you learn ways of managing the anxiety when it occurs?

 

[Chain Lightning]

I'm not on medication and never had any counseling or anything...nothing against counseling accept I have no health insurance and can't afford it.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

OK, understood.

1. You might talk to your doctor about medications. If the anxiety is there pretty much all the time, you might want to try one of the SSRI or SNRI medications such as Effexor or Lexapro, etc. (these are taken every day). If it's intermittent, a low dose of a benzodiazepine such as lorazepam or clonazepam, to be taken only when required, might be a better option.

2. Have a look at one of the self-help cognitive behavior therapy books. The ones I usually recommend are those by Dr. David Burns: The Feeling Good Handbook or one more specific to anxiety and panic disorder, When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life

 

[Chain Lightning]

I do have that book...its helped me some...I forgot to mention that in my post. Its like I have all this nervous energy I'm trying to hold back...for example: I can be walking around the grocery store picking up everything I need and I'm fine. But as soon as I get in the line and nowhere to go...it overwhelms me...I can't think strait. Sometimes I can assure myself and calm down a bit but when something about somebody in the line distracts me and my thoughts are racing...no can do. Because of that, I go at night when there's no line.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

The thing about CBT and relaxation techniques is that they need to be practiced regularly, like any other skill. If you stop using the techniques, the anxiety will return. Maybe it's time to go back to the book and re-read it.

Give some thought to talking to your doctor about medications, though.

 

[Chain Lightning]

Do these meds have to be taken daily? I'm just wondering if there is something I can take only when I think I'll need it. I'm very very sensitive to many medications (even herbal remedies)...I can't even take baby doses of some things like ibuprofen...yet I can take the max dose of other pain killers....go figure.

Something I have noticed: I take tramadol for dysmonorrhea and for the 2 days I take it to get through the pain...on those days I don't have any anxiety. I'm still ADHD or whatever though...no help w/ that.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Do these meds have to be taken daily? I'm just wondering if there is something I can take only when I think I'll need it.

Yes. As I mentioned above, benzodiazepines are fast acting and can be taken only as needed ("prn"). Talk to your doctor about lorazepam or clonazepam.

 

[Chain Lightning]

Oops, read it too fast, sorry 'bout that. I'll look into it. Thanks.

 

[Budoaiki]

Chain Lightning,

I have an idea why your anxiety might be affecting your sex drive in a cognitive sense. Sex is an expressions of love, it's comforting and the comfort of feeling and expressing it is very calming. I think we usually seek comfort when we feel anxious and that could be part of the reason why your anxiety affects your sex drive.

From a chemical stand point regarding the endocrine and neurological systems Dr.Baxter's points make a lot of sense. With the exercise temporarily calming the anxiety that could also be tied to the endorphins released from exercise and that also helps calm the mind permitting clearer thinking.(Which also happens during sex as you probably know.)

 

[Chain Lightning]

That makes sense to me...in fact there was something on TV I saw about a study that showed how anxiety actually increased sexual arousal for a percentage of men and women.

However...I was actually it the other way around...saying that puberty brought on the anxiety for me. There definitely seems to be a link there.