Are you a Canadian?

[Jazzey]

Subject: You may be Canadian!

Forget Rednecks, Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialled a wrong number,
You may live in Canada .

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada .

If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada .

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada .


If you install security lights on your house and garage doors,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada .

If you carry jumpers in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada .

If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 90 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada .
If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada .

If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
And road construction,
You may live in Canada .

If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .

If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .

If you actually understand these jokes,
And forward them to all
Your Canadian friends & others,
You definitely live in Canada .

 

[Daniel E.]

Hilarious

 

[ladylore]

You may live in Canada .
If you measure distance in hours,

Scary. It's how I grew up. :lol:

 

[Jazzey]

Scary. It's how I grew up.

....I still do it...:funny: - Everything is "so many" hours away...

 

[ladylore]

250 miles = 5 and a half hours. :lmao:

 

[NicNak]

I liked it Jazzey! Thanks for posting it. Happy "almost winter" everyone

 

[white page]

Love it , makes me want to come and visit

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialled a wrong number,
You may live in Canada .

If you install security lights on your house and garage doors,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .

 

[Lana]

LOL! I love those!!

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada .

I once drove through a hurricaine, on my way to Tennessee from Myrtle Beach and had a tree fly over my car, as a branch taped the window. Well lemme tell ya....I will drive through 2 feet of snow at 90 km/hr during a blizzard anyday as long as I never ever experience that. All I can say is that my butt muscles hurt for a day after because I was so tense the rest of the way.

 

[Jazzey]

...yippers - a little self-promotion on my country! ;-)

And yes, I have gotten stuck in blizzards more times than I wish - and, while I am Canadian - I do flinch and I white knuckle every single time! - the butt muscles hurt too!

I drive a lot for my job (could be as far as "5 hours") - at this time of year, it's always a gamble. Last year, I was actually stuck on a highway for 12 hrs because they closed it while I was on it....Eventually got to my destination safely by following a tractor trailer closely. His lights were the only thing I could see beyond a foot.

 

[Sparrow]

:hithere: Jazzey, Thank you very much for that ditty!
It really cracked me up and made my day!
Snowflakes from Ontario to you. :dance:

 

[Jazzey]

...these types of jokes are my "other" addiction! I'm glad I played a part in sending you some happiness today Sparrow! :support:

 

[Into The Light]

If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .

isn't 2 degrees just a little chilly?

 

[Jazzey]

...I think it is but, what do I know?....I'm Canadian....

 

[parenting]

thanks for posting these, I needed a good laugh, this did it.

 

[Jazzey]

Im glad you liked it Parenting - I save a collection of them on my computer for those days that are a little more difficult. I'm glad I could play a part in making you smile today.