Hi, I'm new here and seeking help to address and change the way I deal with my moodiness.
I have always had a quick temper, I come from a family where yelling and threats were the way I was kept in line. I am 33 years old now. 4 years ago, I was in a serious relationship with a man I was planning to marry. Ultimately, he broke up with me. One large reason for this is my unpredictable moodiness. Although I am usually quite cheerful and attract many people with my personality, I admit I have a dark side and I cannot control it.
I am not violent and I do not throw things, but I do get worked up quite easily. After that relationship, I went to therapy to work on conflict resolution skills. Now, I can say that I can successfully talk through a conflict, calm down, and work towards a resolution. I also have worked on letting go of past fights and allow myself to calm down after agreeing to make up.
However, I still have one large problem. When I am in a bad mood, I often do not even realize it! And I end up snapping at whoever is closest to me for no reason, often overreacting to whatever they have said. My most recent boyfriend has just broken up with me for this reason. I talked to my best friends and they admitted that it is true. That sometimes they are nervous and uncomfortable around me because I snap at them undeservedly. Honestly, I had no idea that I have been doing this for years! Otherwise, I would have brought it up in therapy before. Now, I am unemployed and cannot afford to see a therapist. Therefore, I'm on my own.
How do I recognize when I do this? How do I figure out why I do this and what causes it? How do I gain awareness of when I am in a bad mood and about to snap at someone or overreact? I think this happens when I am frustrated, embarassed, or annoyed, but I am not sure. I have no idea how to act in any other way but I would really like to try.
Feedback and advice would be greatly appreciated!
I have always had a quick temper, I come from a family where yelling and threats were the way I was kept in line. I am 33 years old now. 4 years ago, I was in a serious relationship with a man I was planning to marry. Ultimately, he broke up with me. One large reason for this is my unpredictable moodiness. Although I am usually quite cheerful and attract many people with my personality, I admit I have a dark side and I cannot control it.
I am not violent and I do not throw things, but I do get worked up quite easily. After that relationship, I went to therapy to work on conflict resolution skills. Now, I can say that I can successfully talk through a conflict, calm down, and work towards a resolution. I also have worked on letting go of past fights and allow myself to calm down after agreeing to make up.
However, I still have one large problem. When I am in a bad mood, I often do not even realize it! And I end up snapping at whoever is closest to me for no reason, often overreacting to whatever they have said. My most recent boyfriend has just broken up with me for this reason. I talked to my best friends and they admitted that it is true. That sometimes they are nervous and uncomfortable around me because I snap at them undeservedly. Honestly, I had no idea that I have been doing this for years! Otherwise, I would have brought it up in therapy before. Now, I am unemployed and cannot afford to see a therapist. Therefore, I'm on my own.
How do I recognize when I do this? How do I figure out why I do this and what causes it? How do I gain awareness of when I am in a bad mood and about to snap at someone or overreact? I think this happens when I am frustrated, embarassed, or annoyed, but I am not sure. I have no idea how to act in any other way but I would really like to try.
Feedback and advice would be greatly appreciated!