Being Tough

[Paintballer]

My son plays baseball on a travel team and he is quite g
ood. During the games, a lot of the kids have big
mouths and talk "you-know-what" to each other.
My son is starting to get aggresive too. Last game
he blocked a kid hard, and he felt good about himself.
He doesn't act aggressive at anytime during the game.
I think this may be the fact that he is getting more
emotional, or should I say determined, about sports.
He seems to play better with it. He gives respect
though, and he's not immature.Is this aggresive
behavior something I should try to get him to stop?
Thanks,
Damien

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Honestly, I think a lot of boys (and increasingly girls) acquire that aggressiveness from their coaches. This is done to increase competitiveness and the desire to win, much as drill sergeants do to recruits.

But you say he is aggressive only NOT during the game? I'm confused -- did he "block" the other kid AFTER the game?

If he is being aggressive but playing within the rules DURING a game, I'd say you probably don't want to intervene. If that aggression is occurring off the field or generalizing to non-sports parts of his life, I'd say you need to at least have a talk with him.

 

[Paintballer]

Honestly, I think a lot of boys (and increasingly girls) acquire that aggressiveness from their coaches. This is done to increase competitiveness and the desire to win, much as drill sergeants do to recruits.

But you say he is aggressive only NOT during the game? I'm confused -- did he "block" the other kid AFTER the game?

If he is being aggressive but playing within the rules DURING a game, I'd say you probably don't want to intervene. If that aggression is occurring off the field or generalizing to non-sports parts of his life, I'd say you need to at least have a talk with him.

I'm sorry I worded that incorrectly. He is aggresive during the game, more "into" it. He blocked a kid that was bigger than him during a game, which I do not believe is considered bullying. His coach is quite aggresive, that may be the cause.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Okay. It does sound as if it is likely that he is being encouraged and probably praised/rewarded by his coach for playing more aggressively and indeed in competitive sports that is the norm, as long as it is done fairly and within the rules and with regard to physical safety (e.g., aggressive blocking but not attacking with intent to injure).

 

[ThatLady]

My son played football, as well. I noticed an increase in aggressive behavior, both in-game and out. He and I sat down and had a long talk about how certain characteristics are beneficial in one arena, but detrimental in other arenas. It took him awhile to get the gist of where and when to use this newly found aspect of his personality, but he did work it out.

If I were you, I'd just make sure he understands that the aggression is for the playing field, not the field of daily life.