Better off

[Ashley-Kate]

well this message is not to be mean or anything but it is to tell everyone that thinks that if they die if they leave this world somewhat difficult at times that people would be better off

this is not rational thinking cause they won't be better off

first they may feel guilty then they will be mad then sad then even they will try to understand how you felt and never succeed really at understanding and they will be left in the doubt and in the questioning for the rest of their lives

it is not a question of better off cause the thing is the day that you will eventually get out of this lapse of your life and be happy again you will be a happier person and if you decide to commit suicide before that happens then you take away the chance of anyone ever knowing how you could have been ! we will never be better off cause everyone is worth living to the fullest !

yours truly
ashley

 

[ladylore]

I don't find your post mean at all Ashley. In fact, it is a good rational to keep going. I have had a few friends who have know people who have ended their own lives. These freinds told me how angry they were that these people had ended their lives because they were so loved.

I know when your right in the middle of depression...you may not be able to feel the love around you. But there are people around that definitely do and would miss you terribly if you were gone.

Not talking about you personally Ashley - only an experience I knew about.

 

[Mari]

Tonight I'll Say A Prayer

There may not be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow but there is a rainbow. A rainbow can only be seen when the rain has passed so please don't give up. A friend of a dear friend died by suicide just a week before Xmas. I dedicate this song.

Tonight I?ll Say A Prayer

Tonight I'll set the table,
I'll take my chair.
I'll act like nothing's happened,
Though you're not there.

I'll smile when Johnny asks me,
Why you are so late?
I'll tell him daddy's busy,
But I'll wonder and worry and wait.

Tonight I'll write some letters,
They're overdue.
I'll look at television,
But I'll see you.

I'll think about this morning,
Of a silly, foolish fight,
The way you said,
I won't be home tonight.

Tonight I'll kiss your pillow,
When I'm in bed.
I'll blame myself completely,
For what I said.

My eyes will fill with teardrops,
When I reach for you.
I'll feel so lost and lonely,
'Cause I love you, I love you, I love you!

Tonight I'll say a prayer for you,
Where ever you may be.
And hope that when I wake tomorrow,
You'll be here with me.

[Chorus:]
How can I live without you?
You're all I'm thinking of.
Tonight I'll say a prayer for you,
My love!

Mari :heart::heart::heart:

 

[Ashley-Kate]

wow thats a really nice song!
thanks to all for the replies i just had to express what suicide is for me as yes i know that latly i have not been the most happy person in the world and yes i do admit that sometimes it just seems like and easy exit just close your eyes and don'T wake up but somehitng keep s me here and that is my familyl my friends and i just can't put my needs above there and by saying they will be fine without me just sound pretty pathetic and untruthfull! So that is my opinion i chose life cause everyone the loves me would probably dye for me to live so i won't end my life without there honest opinion on that cause i feel that if i dye no matter how a part of me in them will also fade i wil not increase the pocess and increase their frustration towards me ! i chose to live and we should all !

 

[Cat Dancer]

I agree, Ashley. We all should choose to live. It's hard sometimes, but it's the right decision. Life.

 

[poohbear]

For someone so young, she seems to have the answers. And I am so jealous!

I have been having SUCH a hard time these last few weeks. Started before Thanksgiving, and it just hasn't stopped. But it all came to a head, so to speak, this week. I've already posted on that, but it ties in here.

I too, considered ending all this. I don't think I was ever serious about it. But it saddens me to think I was actually thinking about it, wondering what would be more final and successful. What would leave the least mess? How could I plan it so my children didn't find me? What if they did?

Pretty sad, isn't it? And, no I don't think your opinion here was mean at all. But I do think, since I am feeling so much LIKE this right now, that sometimes, when you are THAT LOW in life, that things are just distroted. Things are just SO UNREAL for you, that it really and truly is a monumental effort to just remember to breathe! It has been for me. It has been SO difficult. But I made the effort. I took a shower. And I went out and ran an errand. But it was difficult.

I know some of you have been here, in the same place I am. I know your body aches and your heart hurts. And that's why I came to this site. I was at the bottom. But now, instead of sinking, I'm more like "floating". I'm not necessarily floating UP, but floating is better than sinking. And when I'm done floating, when I get my energy back, I can try to swim.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

i know how you feel believe me i do i wrote this message in an attempt to wake people up but also to wake myself up I know the feeling of feeling so helpless so tiered so weak that things just seem so evident toward suicide i know the point you get to when you think why am i here why do i need this! believe me i do and when you say :

But now, instead of sinking, I'm more like "floating". I'm not necessarily floating UP, but floating is better than sinking. And when I'm done floating, when I get my energy back, I can try to swim.

i know the feeling it's like you are just above water not enough to really catch your breath completely you go under sometimes but it as if it is safe momentarily until something either pushes you down or you gain enough air to move a bit further .. where to who knows..

but the thing is we have to realize that we live not only for ourselves but for others ! i know its hard to believe in life when you feel as if it has brought you no were but we must!!! life isn't always bad .. cause some people are happy on this planet and we must believe that one day we will be too

yours truly ashley

 

[adaptive1]

You know what I had my moment too very recently and planned it all out in my mind. I felt that hopeless. But I kept reading and re reading all the posts on here and all the reasons not to go through with it, inlcuding the one you wrote in November Ashley. I re read the recent answers I got from Halo and Dr Baxter and others. I stayed up all night and read them over and over. Some how it felt like these people I never met were right here with me, even though I wouldnt know them if I saw them in the street. I am sure that sounds crazy. Two days later I went to my Doctor and got medication and went and told the therapist everything. I thought he would try and get me locked up but he didnt, I think because he could see how committed I am to getting my mental health back. I am still not sleeping, so that is partially why I am posting as I dont really have a point I guess except to say that things do seem brighter now, people can help you, it is so much better to face tomorrow even if its hard than not to have that option.

 

[Into The Light]

maladaptive, i am so glad you kept reading all those posts and took steps to keep yourself safe. life can be very difficult but we can get through those times. you are indeed not alone and there are people out there who want to help, be it here on this forum or in real life. (your doctor being one of them).

you did very, very well and you should be proud of yourself for what you have accomplished. you did amazing in the face of those feelings! :yahoo: