Bits and Pieces

[NightOwl]

I don't know very much about trauma, I'm still trying to understand. I can only describe what is happening to me and see if it makes any sense to anyone. I'm just over 3 years on from a very traumatic experience of being raped and I feel as if I am starting to come alive. Up until now, I have felt as if I have just been going through the motions of life, but now I'm starting to get the life come back into me and memories are flooding in.

I'm trying to make sense of what is coming in. In films, they run a reel as if a particular situation is happening, from beginning to end, but for me, in reality, all I'm getting is a few images e.g. his chest, nasal hair, quite a few other tiny bits, all very disjointed; also a strong sense of odour, and I'm trying to piece these things together. I wish I could make sense of them so that I could pass them to the Police.

NightOwl

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Your experience is the most common experience. It's not generally like the movies.

 

[HA]

NightOwl,

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with this painful process. I have read that some people have memories of traumatic events that are complete and detailed and others have pieces of memories of the event like you are experiencing.

If you have not seen this Australian site you may find it helpful. I believe you said you were from Australia? They have links to other sites within your country as well. http://www.nswrapecrisis.com.au/Links.htm

Hugs to you.
:grouphug:

 

[Auburn]

NightOwl;
I understand what you mean about bits and pieces. It is the same for me. For me, I think it is almost like my safety, not remembering all of it. And it hasn't been as long for us as it has for you.
I am glad to hear that you are feeling life coming back into you. That is wonderful. Hold tight to that. That gives me hope. Don't force it hun, when you are ready for all of it, I think that it will become that film. I am thinking about you. Brightest blessings to you.

 

[NightOwl]

Thank you for your kind replies. It is very reassuring that what is happening to me is just a normal reaction to trauma.

I'm sorry that a lot of you have gone through something traumatic yourselves, and I wish I could wave a magic wand to stop all of this happening, but you're right saying this forum is very reassuring and helpful. :grouphug:

NightOwl

 

[Auburn]

This is a wonderful place NightOwl. It is sad that we need this forum, or even that a forum like this has to exist, but, such is life sometimes. But, at least we can do our best to comfort others like us, and in our own way, help in the healing of each other. I know this room is a sanctuary for me. And the folks in here, have, in a sense, become part of my extended family. They understand the part of me that others can't imagine. And they don't think I am crazy, or that I should just "get over it" There is no judgement. I hold tight to all of you, and I more than willing to offer the same to anyone else. So, you hold tight too, NightOwl. Many hugz to you.

 

[NightOwl]

Thank you Auburn. Yes it is a lovely place; I've already found I've settled in and have found it a great source of comfort. You all have been very kind to me. I originally found this because I am studying Social Sciences and Psychology, but have now found a great source of comfort as well.

You come over as certainly not being crazy; you've simply had more than you can take and gone through something life has thrown at you and it's very difficult when life and society expect you to deal with a trauma. It's lovely to find reassurance from people around the World that can understand you and give support.

You hold on tight there also Auburn. You're doing really great.

NightOwl

 

[Auburn]

I am holding on for dear life NightOwl, and I know each day will get easier. But, the one thing that gets me through the worst of it is knowing that I can come here and hold on tight to all of you. Funny how things work isn't it. When all this happened initially, I was just looking for a way to understand what had happened to us, and a way to try to comprehend it. I didn't realize exactly what this forum was for. But, it was my saving grace through the beginning stages.
I wish I had more wisdom to offer you, but I don't. I can only offer my support, love and any extra strength I have. That is there for all of you.
Take care of you NightOwl and just know that we are here.
Brightest blessings

 

[NightOwl]

((((((Auburn)))))

Thank you so much for your kind words of love, support, and strength. They are very much appreciated. It's amazing how the Internet can bring people together through adversity. Take care of yourself and I'm sending you back love and care on your journey forwards while you find the answers you are looking for. Wishing you well. :heart:

NightOwl