• Quote of the Day
    "Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. "
    Joseph Campbell, posted by Cat Dancer

Halo

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A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?"

The agent replies, "Just a minute..."

"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up
 
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Re: Blonde Joke

Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zamboni

Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.
 
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Re: Blonde Joke

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

======================================

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said.... FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
 

lallieth

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Smart Blonde Joke

SMART BLONDE JOKE

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks andNeeds to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
 

Banned

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Re: Smart Blonde Joke

HAHA Good one. Reminds me of the time I dropped my car off at the dealership for an oil change while I went on holidays. Told them not to rush - they had a week. Parked my car for free!
 

Meg

Dr. Meg, Global Moderator, Practitioner
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Re: Smart Blonde Joke

That was a good one - it even made my husband laugh and he is pretty hard to impress with jokes :)
 

Halo

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Blonde In Winter

Michael and his wife live in Toronto. One winter morning while listening to CFRB, they hear the announcer say, 'We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through. Michael's wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, 'We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through.' Michael's wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, 'We are expecting 12 to 14 i nches of snow today. You must park......', then the electric power goes out.

Michael's wife is very upset and, with a worried look on her face, she says, 'Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?'

With the love and understanding in Michael's voice, as all the men who are married to blondes exhibit, Michael says, 'Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
 

lallieth

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Re: Blonde In Winter

Hahahahahahah

I have sent this joke to pretty much everyone i know,thanks for the good laugh Halo!
 
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Halo

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Re: Blonde In Winter

Your welcome...my mom actually sent it to my last night and I spit my water all over my computer screen when I read it :rofl:
 

lallieth

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Re: Blonde In Winter

Your welcome...my mom actually sent it to my last night and I spit my water all over my computer screen when I read it :rofl:
LOl I know how that goes! My mom sends me the raciest jokes she can find
 

Halo

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Re: Blonde In Winter

My mom only learned how to send and receive email about a year ago and is now addicted :lol: You should see how many emails I get from her a day now :eek:mg:
 

Halo

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Blonde in Tim Hortons

A blonde goes into a Tim Horton's and notices there's
A 'roll up the rim' sticker on her coffee cup.
So she unfolds it and starts screaming,
'I've won a motorhome!
I've won a motorhome!'
The waitress says,That's impossible.
The biggest prize is car .
But the blonde keeps on screaming,
'I've won a motorhome!
I've won a motorhome!'
Finally, the manager comes over and says,
'Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken.
You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome
Because we didn't have that as a prize.
The blonde says, 'No, it's not a mistake.
I've won a motorhome!'
And she hands the cup to the
Manager and HE reads...
.
.
.
.
.
'W I N A B A G E L'
 

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