healthbound
Member
This is a continuation from this thread.
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healthbound
Member
Re: Body Awareness-n-Other Stuff
OK...I wanted to add an update about how I'm doing, but felt like I was hijacking the other thread, so I started this one
I realized how sad I feel today. My body has been hurting more than usual over the past week and I've been sleeping a lot (like...18 hours etc). My body is so sore that even my skin seems to hurt...if something even mildly cold touches me it hurts. Similar to having a fever, but I don't have one.
Anyway, I do have fibromyalgia and I also have been getting physio for a car accident but I noticed my body hurting much more this week.
I also remembered something my therapist said to me once about my emotional pain transforming into physical pain or illnesses.
How does this relate to eating disorders? Well, I've been trying to be more present and conscious of my body and stuff (lol, I find it hard to talk about). I think the biggest change I've made recently is in how I talk to myself. I've really been trying to be nicer and less judgmental towards myself (even if I don't whole heartedly believe what I'm saying). When I connect with myself and what I'm doing AND try to be more supportive to myself, it makes it much more challenging to use food. I've also been trying to become more conscious of how my disordered eating has effected my health. The more I am connected to the reality of what I'm doing to myself --- how hard I am being on myself --- how much I am hurting myself --- it makes it more and more difficult for me to continue. I see it as extremely similar to self injury. Or at least it is in my case.
I use food in two ways. To shut my emotions or thoughts up and to punish or hurt myself. Eventually, I'd like to use it to nourish myself though.
Anyway, that's all for now....just rambling really. I'm sad today. I'm really aware of my sister's death date next week and I feel sad and lonely. I'm reminded of how much I've isolated and how distant I keep people. For some reason, today I was aware of how hard I work to keep myself from connecting with people. It makes sense to me. I just wasn't aware that my fear of connecting with people was so profound and integrated into my actions. Like, I didn't realize how much my isolating affected me and the quality of my life. Maybe I'll write more on that later.
Thanks for listening/reading.
OK...I wanted to add an update about how I'm doing, but felt like I was hijacking the other thread, so I started this one
I realized how sad I feel today. My body has been hurting more than usual over the past week and I've been sleeping a lot (like...18 hours etc). My body is so sore that even my skin seems to hurt...if something even mildly cold touches me it hurts. Similar to having a fever, but I don't have one.
Anyway, I do have fibromyalgia and I also have been getting physio for a car accident but I noticed my body hurting much more this week.
I also remembered something my therapist said to me once about my emotional pain transforming into physical pain or illnesses.
How does this relate to eating disorders? Well, I've been trying to be more present and conscious of my body and stuff (lol, I find it hard to talk about). I think the biggest change I've made recently is in how I talk to myself. I've really been trying to be nicer and less judgmental towards myself (even if I don't whole heartedly believe what I'm saying). When I connect with myself and what I'm doing AND try to be more supportive to myself, it makes it much more challenging to use food. I've also been trying to become more conscious of how my disordered eating has effected my health. The more I am connected to the reality of what I'm doing to myself --- how hard I am being on myself --- how much I am hurting myself --- it makes it more and more difficult for me to continue. I see it as extremely similar to self injury. Or at least it is in my case.
I use food in two ways. To shut my emotions or thoughts up and to punish or hurt myself. Eventually, I'd like to use it to nourish myself though.
Anyway, that's all for now....just rambling really. I'm sad today. I'm really aware of my sister's death date next week and I feel sad and lonely. I'm reminded of how much I've isolated and how distant I keep people. For some reason, today I was aware of how hard I work to keep myself from connecting with people. It makes sense to me. I just wasn't aware that my fear of connecting with people was so profound and integrated into my actions. Like, I didn't realize how much my isolating affected me and the quality of my life. Maybe I'll write more on that later.
Thanks for listening/reading.
healthbound
Member
Re: Body Awareness-n-Other Stuff
Hahaha...thanks Jazzey! I just stared to feel uncomfortable talking about my struggles with food especially since I am discovering that it might be the opposite of abstinence that is the best course of action for me, lol.
Glad you visited me here
Hahaha...thanks Jazzey! I just stared to feel uncomfortable talking about my struggles with food especially since I am discovering that it might be the opposite of abstinence that is the best course of action for me, lol.
Well, if it is then the rambling might be too ----watch out! Soon you'll be writing 3-page replies like me, hahaha!
Glad you visited me here
Re: Body Awareness-n-Other Stuff
I'm glad that you wanted to share HB -that's what we're here for!
And
Bingo! - I had Kentucky fried chicken for lunch....that's all I'm going to say about that!
I'm sorry HB - and please don't stay here too long...it becomes a vicious habit after a while. I've been there myself in recent times and doing everything I can to reconnect to the world, to people that I love, and life in general.
I will be thinking in the days to come. Just remember to lean on others - it's ok HB. In fact, I would venture to guess that those around you rely on you're being able to do just that.
You're in my thoughts:hug:
I'm glad that you wanted to share HB -that's what we're here for!
And
Bingo! - I had Kentucky fried chicken for lunch....that's all I'm going to say about that!
I'm sorry HB - and please don't stay here too long...it becomes a vicious habit after a while. I've been there myself in recent times and doing everything I can to reconnect to the world, to people that I love, and life in general.
I will be thinking in the days to come. Just remember to lean on others - it's ok HB. In fact, I would venture to guess that those around you rely on you're being able to do just that.
You're in my thoughts:hug:
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