Can't put worry into words...

[eva]

I'm at the point where I wonder if I'm failing at helping myself. CBT taught me how to track my thoughts and identify stimuli and thoughts that fuel anxiety, and approach my worries in a rational and realistic way, but that doesn't do me much good when my feelings of anxiety and discomfort are happening "out of nowhere". I mean, my feelings aren't happening in a vacuum, but that I'll start feeling anxious and "crappy" without a fully-formed thought or idea in my head to cause it. I can't place why I feel nervous and like crap and it's frustrating me a lot.

Even when I take the time to take control of challenging issues in my life that cause me stress and pressure, the lingering sense of nerves and low self-esteem doesn't completely go away. I keep forgetting to talk to my mom about more counseling, see if there's maybe something under my family's insurance or work benefits that might help.

I just keep feeling confused even though I try to be active and I know that I can be a proactive and happy person.

 

[MHealthJo]

Yes... if you have an opportunity to keep seeing someone at this time, obviously that gives you a chance to keep getting more insight and learning more skills and tools.

CBT is fantastic, but it's only one tool and model among many many helpful things out there, and it has its limitations. Also, there are so many ways to use it, of which you may have learned some but not all.

Definitely do some advanced searching here for phrases that you think might relate to the way you feel. Or do google searches but add this to the search: site(colon)psychlinks.ca - that way google will give you high-ranking threads here that will probably have great resources posted in them.

Maybe also search amazon or the web for the most recommended books on self-esteem, confidence, anxiety, stress, mindfulness, cbt, ACT, etc. I really believe having a thorough, in-depth knowledge of stuff we are dealing with, by reading the most recommended/respected self-help books on the topic, is a huge key. If something has helped other people there's a good chance it can help you too. Plus, only so much can be learned in-session; and one book costs a helluva lot less than most therapy sessions plus is always there for you to refer to.

Hard to make time but it can be what makes a big difference.

Keep at it.

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(Oh, also remember to keep your doctor posted about what you are feeling, work with them on finding the most effective dose of the right medication for you etc - see whether the response you're getting is as good as you can expect, etc.)

 

[eva]

I'm trying to be practical even though I feel cruddy. I want to try and figure out what is "wrong with me" first before trying to figure out what treatments will help me out.

I feel weakened on a physical and psychological level. Prone to exhaustion, and I get migraines, snuffles and fluxes in my temperature frequently, which have consistently wreaked havoc on my ability to participate in class or feel confident at work. And I am kinda sensitive so it's harder for me to feel 'okay' in my mind if my body isn't well.

Maybe I am weak and sickly because I feel stressed and unhappy so much? Or maybe it's the other way around. I don't know.

I explained to my doctor that I am tired all the time and he sent me for blood work. Could be that I don't have enough iron or that I have issues with my thyroid. We are going to talk again when the results are in and we might put me on a different medication that will retain the benefits but without making me so fatigued.

Right now I'm just very preoccupied with trying not to feel like a failure and struggling through work and school and I want my own physicality to stop fighting me.