Caring for a huge family as a single mom?

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BBC NEWS | Americas | Octuplets' mum wanted huge family
I felt increasing unease as I read this article , this lady already has six little ones , I wonder how they will cope now emotionally with eight new siblings in one go , and how this mom will cope with giving each of her 14 children quality priveleged time , It feels as if this is truly a misuse of these fertility techniques , I have no doubts that she loves her children , but I do have doubts about her capacity to give them a balanced education and life . As it seems that she is trying to replace the playmates she lacked in her lonely childhood .

Octuplets' mum wanted huge family


Nadya Suleman: 'All I wanted was children'

A Californian single mother-of-six who recently gave birth to octuplets has spoken for the first time about her desire to have a "huge" family.

In excerpts from a TV interview yet to be broadcast, Nadya Suleman said she wanted to make up for the loneliness she felt growing up as an only child.

Ms Suleman, 33, also defended her decision to conceive her children through in vitro fertilisation (IVF).

The case has sparked a debate over the ethics of her treatment.

Fertility experts have raised concerns about the number of embryos implanted that resulted in the octuplets' birth, and questioned whether the procedure met medical guidelines.

Ms Suleman, whose six older children are aged two to seven, said that all 14 of her children were conceived through IVF with sperm donated by a friend.

Investigation

Speaking to NBC's Today Show, due to be broadcast next week, Ms Suleman defended her decision to conceive by IVF.


All I wanted was children. I wanted to be a mom. That's all I ever wanted in my life. I love my children.
Nadya Suleman

"I took a risk. It's a gamble. It always is," she said.

"A lot of couples, usually it's couples, do undergo this procedure and it's not as controversial because they are couples so it's more acceptable to society.

"For me, I feel as though I've been under the microscope because I've chosen this unconventional kind of life. I didn't intend on it being unconventional, just it turned out to be," she added. Asked about her background as a single child, she said: "All I wanted was children. I wanted to be a mom. That's all I ever wanted in my life. I love my children.

"That was always a dream of mine, to have a large family, a huge family.

"I just longed for certain connections and attachments with another person that... I really lacked, I believe, growing up."

She said she had tried for seven years to get pregnant before finally conceiving through IVF.

"From that facility, it was successful. And then I just kept going in," she said.

Asked whether she had considered reducing the number of embryos that had successfully implanted, she replied: "Oh no. Sometimes we have that dream and that passion, and we take risks. And I did and it turned out perfectly."

Kaiser Permanente Medical Center team
A huge team was needed to deliver the octuplets successfully

Ms Suleman's eight babies were delivered nine weeks early by Caesarean section in a hospital near Los Angeles on 26 January.

All are reported to be doing well.

The facility, the Kaiser Permanente Medical Center in Bellflower, California, has said it was not involved in the octuplets' conception.

The California Medical Board has begun an investigation into whether there was a "violation of the standard of care" in the case.

The American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recommends that women of Ms Suleman's age have no more than two embryos implanted.

Fertility experts have pointed to a lack of regulation in the field and called for professional organisations to put stricter rules in place for doctors and clinics.

Multi-birth pregnancies come with a heightened risk of premature birth and health risks for the mother and the babies.

 

[amastie]

Yes, I felt the same WP.

 

[Charity]

I've been hearing a lot about this story, and I have to admit that I'm having a verrrrry hard time NOT being a bit judgmental. I just can't see how it is in any way a responsible act to intentionally have eight embryos implanted when you already have six young children, are unemployed, and live with your parents.
The mother talked a little about how she had always felt a "lack of connection" in her own childhood, and that she was having all of these children now so that she could finally acheive that connection that she had missed. In my biased view, this woman needed some psychological intervention, not more fertility treatments. Her doctors should have known better.

 

[Jazzey]

...I'm not disagreeing with any of your rational thoughts here. But, as an "older" person now (ie past their prime), I want to understand that this woman just wanted children.

If someone knocked on my door tomorrow and said - "here you go, 6 children", I probably wouldn't say no...Just playing devil's advocate here. I've known many "big" families in my life (ie 17 or 18 children) - none of the children have ever felt deprived.

 

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I hear what you are saying Jazzey , It is the context of this family which makes me feel uneasy , and the use of these medical techniques for a single lady who is already fertile . I also feel deeply for all those childless ladies who through lack of financial resources etc. have no access to motherhood. For them this sort of
story would be almost unbearable. This is not a couple who after years of heartbreak finally managed to have children thanks to advances in medicine .

I do hope that these little children will have a delightful life emotionally , materially all will be assured , due to the commercial offers which are bound to come .
I still have doubts about this particular mom.

 

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Suleman octuplets - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

a little further reading , which sadly confirms the unease I felt .

 

[Lana]

The sad part is that some take it upon themselves to "fix" her and even threaten her and her babies welfare. That anger is misplaced. What people should be doing is looking closer at the doctor that performed, and profited, from the procedure. To him, this was just a science experiment. And I don't buy the "but she told him to" arguments. He could have said "No"...just like many many doctors say no to drug abusers.

 

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:agree::goodposting: which leads me to say that he put his patient in danger , by his irresponsibility . Happily this is very minority behaviour by the medical proffession the vast majority of doctors behave in an ethical and responsible way .

 

[Jazzey]

Wow...Thank you WP. This story is a little tough to read, for the reasons you mentioned and, because you can't help but be concerned for the children. While to some, it may only be a procedure, the result is 8 children...