Salpeter
Member
Some of you may know my clinical fear/psychological weakness already. I face my biggest challenge in my life yet - and I can lose everything.
I have high myopia w/ corneal irregularity. In the last three days I noticed that something is wrong w/ my (right) eye(s). My eye(s) was/were significantly indolent while following/focusing on relatively fast objects (i slept enough on those days!). I also noticed 1-2 small flashes. My eyesight may be at risk.
Naturally, every rational being would consult an eye doctor, BUT here lies the problem: There is nothing I fear more than everything even remotely associated w/ physical eye-(contact). I used the superlative of fear already w/ other things, but in a exaggerated way! Here it is true that my biggest fear is personified. I fear I can not express w/ words the magnitude of this fear. I am generally very sensitive and react w/ fear against many (clinical) things, like blood samples, but the phobia I explain in this topic has a parameter exponentially higher than all my other fears!
In my childhood I couldn't bear to watch my friend touching his retina w/ his fingers, or my cousin dropping a medical liquid into his retina. Likewise, I find it personally extremely repulsive to watch people putting in their contact lenses. As a matter of fact, I have never done so! When my myopia was worsening and I went to the eye doctor I refused the dilution. I don't thing anything has ever touched my retina except water in my childhood.
Even if I only think about what could happen in the future (analysis, operation) or try to find out the cause on the Internet and identify a probable cause, my heart beat frequency drastically increases and I get extreme panic and stress . I think it is very well possible that I faint while even walking into the eye doctor's office.
I face a very significant problem and I appreciate any help/suggestions!
I have high myopia w/ corneal irregularity. In the last three days I noticed that something is wrong w/ my (right) eye(s). My eye(s) was/were significantly indolent while following/focusing on relatively fast objects (i slept enough on those days!). I also noticed 1-2 small flashes. My eyesight may be at risk.
Naturally, every rational being would consult an eye doctor, BUT here lies the problem: There is nothing I fear more than everything even remotely associated w/ physical eye-(contact). I used the superlative of fear already w/ other things, but in a exaggerated way! Here it is true that my biggest fear is personified. I fear I can not express w/ words the magnitude of this fear. I am generally very sensitive and react w/ fear against many (clinical) things, like blood samples, but the phobia I explain in this topic has a parameter exponentially higher than all my other fears!
In my childhood I couldn't bear to watch my friend touching his retina w/ his fingers, or my cousin dropping a medical liquid into his retina. Likewise, I find it personally extremely repulsive to watch people putting in their contact lenses. As a matter of fact, I have never done so! When my myopia was worsening and I went to the eye doctor I refused the dilution. I don't thing anything has ever touched my retina except water in my childhood.
Even if I only think about what could happen in the future (analysis, operation) or try to find out the cause on the Internet and identify a probable cause, my heart beat frequency drastically increases and I get extreme panic and stress . I think it is very well possible that I faint while even walking into the eye doctor's office.
I face a very significant problem and I appreciate any help/suggestions!