stargazer
Member
I am usually a very high-energy person, and it is unlike me that I have been sleeping as much as I have throughout the past several days. Last night I slept for fourteen hours, and I took two long naps today, one of them three hours long. I think this started on Thursday, when I went down for a nap after lunch, and wound up sleeping deeply for four hours, not knowing where I was when I awoke, or what day it was, so deep was the sleep.
There are reasons for me to be depressed, largely financial. My music transcription service had been getting me a lot of unexpected work and income for a couple of months, but then midway through last month, I suddenly stopped getting any new work. At the beginning of this month. there were a couple of unexpected financial issues, and I wound up becoming broke very early in the month, so that I wasn't even able to pay my phone bill.
So I feel restricted by my financial situation, and a little depressed that this seems to be an ongoing problem with me, but I still don't quite grasp how this would physically tire me as it has. My usual reaction to such things is a much different one.
I have been living in the same house since June 1st, so on the 1st of November I paid my sixth month's rent here. My housemates and I are getting along. It's a large house, and we can easily give each other a lot of space; plus, we are communicating well. I only got mad one time, and it was about three months ago.
So I had been taking encouragement in this stability, but now I suddenly feel like my life is going nowhere. I am also geographically situated in such a way that nothing is nearby. So, when I am tired, I find it difficult to make the trek to sources for food and other kinds of help, being as I do not drive. Public transportation is very bad in this area. Also, I often feel very confused, and I do not know what the next right thing to do is.
I don't think I can go back to the hospital, because I just came from there, when I had admitted myself after several nights of not being able to sleep at all. I thought they had fixed my meds while I was there, but perhaps they overdid it?
I think my dosages, however, are normal.
This is an aside, but I really like the people at the hospital. I am always glad to see them, and I participate readily in the DBT groups, however they insist on putting me on ativan while I am there, and it wipes out my memory, so I can't remember what happened in the hospital, except vaguely. Should I say something about this?
In addition, I received an unexpected gift in the mail from one of the DBT co-ordinators. It was a paperback book, and she signed it, too. That shows how nice the people are there, and how there is definitely a sense of connection to mental health resources here that I did not have when I was still in the San Francisco Bay Area.
Still, I think it might be premature to go right back. It is not quite like in Canada where there is universal health care, and in fact I once went there, and they said it was too soon after the last time.
Finally, I sense that I might have slept it all off - whatever it was - as I now feel I will probably be up all night, which is a little bit dis-heartening. I am trying to establish certain routines, and if insomnia sets in as a backlash, it will only foul things up worse.
Any suggestions or ideas? Thank you for your time.
There are reasons for me to be depressed, largely financial. My music transcription service had been getting me a lot of unexpected work and income for a couple of months, but then midway through last month, I suddenly stopped getting any new work. At the beginning of this month. there were a couple of unexpected financial issues, and I wound up becoming broke very early in the month, so that I wasn't even able to pay my phone bill.
So I feel restricted by my financial situation, and a little depressed that this seems to be an ongoing problem with me, but I still don't quite grasp how this would physically tire me as it has. My usual reaction to such things is a much different one.
I have been living in the same house since June 1st, so on the 1st of November I paid my sixth month's rent here. My housemates and I are getting along. It's a large house, and we can easily give each other a lot of space; plus, we are communicating well. I only got mad one time, and it was about three months ago.
So I had been taking encouragement in this stability, but now I suddenly feel like my life is going nowhere. I am also geographically situated in such a way that nothing is nearby. So, when I am tired, I find it difficult to make the trek to sources for food and other kinds of help, being as I do not drive. Public transportation is very bad in this area. Also, I often feel very confused, and I do not know what the next right thing to do is.
I don't think I can go back to the hospital, because I just came from there, when I had admitted myself after several nights of not being able to sleep at all. I thought they had fixed my meds while I was there, but perhaps they overdid it?
I think my dosages, however, are normal.
This is an aside, but I really like the people at the hospital. I am always glad to see them, and I participate readily in the DBT groups, however they insist on putting me on ativan while I am there, and it wipes out my memory, so I can't remember what happened in the hospital, except vaguely. Should I say something about this?
In addition, I received an unexpected gift in the mail from one of the DBT co-ordinators. It was a paperback book, and she signed it, too. That shows how nice the people are there, and how there is definitely a sense of connection to mental health resources here that I did not have when I was still in the San Francisco Bay Area.
Still, I think it might be premature to go right back. It is not quite like in Canada where there is universal health care, and in fact I once went there, and they said it was too soon after the last time.
Finally, I sense that I might have slept it all off - whatever it was - as I now feel I will probably be up all night, which is a little bit dis-heartening. I am trying to establish certain routines, and if insomnia sets in as a backlash, it will only foul things up worse.
Any suggestions or ideas? Thank you for your time.
Again it is great you have the appointment with your therapist and your living arrangements seem to be working out for the better come January 
