Coping with Flashbacks: Goals and Techniques for Handling the Memories

[Jazzey]

Coping with Flashbacks: Goals and Techniques for Handling the Memories
Written by seanb
Monday, 02 February 2009

When dealing with flashbacks, there are actually three possible options. At the first sign of an oncoming flashback, you need to quickly determine which option you are choosing.

What Are Your Options?

The techniques used for each of these options are the same, but how you combine these techniques and the intensity with which you use them will vary to bring about each of the three. It is important to note that not all flashbacks can or will be Controlled or Escaped. If the triggering event is strong enough, the flashback may overwhelm every attempt made at Control or Escape. During these times, get yourself to the safest place you can and keep using the techniques to manage the Acceptance of the flashback.

Accept

The first option is to Accept the flashback at full intensity, and everything that comes with it. At first glance this looks like a ridiculous choice, but one of the reasons you have flashbacks in the first place is to help your mind process the information contained in the flashback. There are times that this is the best option because the information is going to come forward at some time anyway. So if the time and place are right, prepare yourself and try to control the flashback only enough to keep yourself safe.

How do you know if the time and place are right? Well, there are several factors that may help indicate when it is safe enough to Accept a flashback at full force. The first of these is a safe environment, by safe I mean comfortable and comforting. This may be your bedroom, living room, or even your therapist's office. The second is the existence of a support person, or someone you can talk to afterwards if you need to. This could be a significant other, close friend or therapist.

I have found that limiting the times I Accept a flashback at full force can significantly improve how I deal with the more devastating memories.

Control

The second option is to Control the flashback, or rather to make an attempt to diminish the effects of the flashback. In order to Control the flashback, you need to increase the effort you put into the coping techniques you have (or those listed at the bottom of this article). I find it useful to also continue to remind myself that I am safe and that I cannot be hurt.

Controlling and Escaping flashbacks work by interrupting the thought processes involved in the flashback. Since flashbacks are basically electrical impulses within the brain, I look at this as short-circuiting the flashback process. When you have a song you don't particularly like stuck in your head, the only way to get rid of it is to hear a song you like and replace the thought that is keeping that song in your head. Short-circuiting a flashback is the same thing you are attempting to replace one thought process with another.

Controlling is not the full replacement of a flashback but a redirection of the flashback onto a different and safer circuit. To do this, you will be using your coping tools to interrupt the thought process. You may need to interrupt the flashback several times to Control the impact, and it may take several efforts to cause a single interruption. Mixing your coping methods around and using them in combination are ways of intensifying the attempt at interruption.

If your environment is familiar and you can feel safe, or if you are with someone who can give you a measure of safety, then Controlling the flashback may be the best option.

Escape

The final option is the Escape of the flashback. Again, remember that this may not always be possible, but never give up your attempts. Mix up your coping methods and combine them, try the more intense methods and try new methods. Escape is both tiring and difficult for me, but it can be done.

One thing that you need to be aware of is that Escape is not permanent. By Escaping the flashback, you are simply putting it off until it is safe to process the information. You won't get to select when that reprocessing happens either. Once you Escape, get yourself to a safer place and calm yourself down.

Taking Notes

Whether you simply make mental notes or write down every detail about the flashback and what you did to cope, this is an important part of the process. The more information you have about your flashbacks, the better.

• What triggered the flashback?
• What was your goal? (Accept, Control or Escape)
• Did you accomplish your goal?
• What coping techniques did you use?
• Which of these techniques helped, which didn't?

Having these notes can help create a better plan for flashback management. They can also help your therapist in helping you.

 

[Fiver]

Of course, these tips are easier to write than to put into practice, but they do work. I've learned this week that sometimes I can, indeed, short-circuit a flashback by putting an earworm into my head instead. Sometimes. Not all the time. And some time ago, I think I accepted that they were going to be part of my recovery and not necessarily a "bad" thing. I mean, yeah, they suck. They hurt, they're hard on my body and mind, and I wish they'd go away. But the farther down the road I go, the more I'm able to analyze what has just whipped through my mind rather than run from it.

It has been mortifying to have my co-workers witness how paralyzed I become with I get hit with a flashback. The fact is, however, it's symptomatic of my illness and it's also part of my recovery, hence they're going to occasionally witness it. Accepting that part of it takes some of the embarrassment away, since there isn't a whole lot I can do about it anyway. And at least a few of them understand and will do whatever they can to make it safer for me.

Mostly I just want it to be over. But until that happens, I'll continue to practice and practice the tips and tricks I've been given. They do work, but they take practice.

 

[Jazzey]

Yes, and unfortunately for me, I don't know that it's coming on until I'm right in the middle of it. When I'm there, it's really hard to come out of it. I'm trying to recognize when they're coming on...

 

[forgetmenot]

I find flashbacks don't come as frequently when i stay inside and i isolate myself.When i am under alot of stress i know be prepared because i usually have one with any confrontation I usually try to ride it out at home but at work i use all distraction i can to get throught it usually try to find a private place to hide until it passes too.

 

[Jazzey]

I think that's the trick though Violet, while we feel the need to *hide out*, we need to connect with the outside world. I haven't been good about this - but I'm still trying.
Btw:connecting to the outside world also means staying grounded..There are many advantages to staying open to that sociability....

 

[Fiver]

I don't know about you guys, but they're going to happen regardless where I am, albeit there places that may have more triggers than others. The point is, they're happening because they need to. For me, at this point I need to start taking control over the flashback instead of letting the flashback take control over me, which is what they've done for the last year.

It truly is a matter of making yourself mindful, of telling yourself ahead of time what you'll do when the time comes. It doesn't always work and like I said, it takes practice. But the more you consciously think about ways to regain control while your head is still in the here and now, the more you'll find you can get that control.

It ain't easy, that's for sure. But I can see some progress in myself in small increments.

 

[forgetmenot]

Like you said one does not really have control when flashbacks come. I try to decrease them by less contact with people but sometimes it can be as simple as a siren or a phone ringing. I too already know what i will say when i feel one coming, its not real but sometimes nothing works it is just to overpowering. Staying grounded is a great technique holding on to my badge looking at picture, focusing on room im in helps me know where i am.
Thanks Jazzey and Fiver for this post and comments it does help me understand one should be prepared more

 

[Fiver]

Yes, staying grounded by a picture or something familiar is a good tool. For me it's using a specific tune that always draws a reaction that breaks the circuit. Whatever works, use it. But careful with the "should" in being prepared: Things happen when your mind is ready to let them happen. Working toward controlling things is good, but there is no time limit. Don't set yourself up for failure with "shoulds." When you're ready, you're ready.

And I need to learn to listen to myself and what I'm saying. There are no time limits. I gotta write that down or needlepoint it on a pillow or something.

 

[Into The Light]

Things happen when your mind is ready to let them happen.

this piece confuses me. how can your mind be ready but yet when a flashback comes up it is something you want to get away from? that means you aren't ready in a way.

 

[Fiver]

You're right, it's confusing. What I meant in the quoted context was that when your mind is calm enough to let you begin to use controlling techniques, it will begin to happen. But the flashbacks themselves, at least for me, have been the vent for what my mind wasn't ready to deal with. Until recently I haven't been able to deal with the memories on a rational level, yet they still needed an outlet. So my flashbacks were uncontrollable. Now that I'm at a point where I'm ready to deal with the memories in the present, I have more ability to gain some kind of control, at least more than I did before.

There will always be remnants of flashbacks. The difference will be in how I deal with them. That's the difference now. I'm in a position to begin to face them and face the memories. But that can't be rushed. God knows I've tried.

 

[Into The Light]

i guess to a degree i do understand what you meant. flashbacks don't happen at all when everything has been repressed. maybe it's that your mind that starts with the flashbacks is at some basic level no longer repressing, but your mind at the conscious level still freaks out?

 

[Fiver]

I really can't that answer from a personal level. I don't know if flashbacks are impossible if memories are totally repressed. I think in my case, they're more likely to occur when I try to repress them, or when I've closed my mind off to that portion of my memory. The memories and the unresolved feelings are still there and I know they're there; it's when I refuse to acknowledge their existence that they'll find a way out despite my best efforts.

Before I was ready to acknowledge the raw emotions of the trauma, I had little control. As Pat and I have worked to get to the center of my feelings, I'm finding more and more that I'm able to get a grasp on what explodes from my head without my explicit permission.

I swear, if I could understand this mess better than I do, I would have been done with therapy months ago. The whole thing is hard to understand and go through at the same time.

 

[Into The Light]

that is true too. your subconscious is saying, hey, this needs attention. you try to ignore. it starts to say a bit louder, hey you! you try to ignore again and it just gets louder and louder and bam, flashback. i think your brain at some level is demanding this stuff to be processed.

i don't know if this really works this way. just some random thoughts i guess.

 

[Fiver]

Come on, ITL, you know that random thoughts are our specialty. Yeah, the brain demands you process what you know is in there. It's kind of like knowing that there are things in the fridge that have been making themselves into science projects and need to be tossed, but you put it off because it's gross and unpleasant, and then one day the fridge explodes with bacterial fungi that leaves you stuck to the kitchen wall. You still need to clean out the fridge, but you learn that by using a HazMat suit before opening the door, the horror is less likely to knock you down.

Or something like that.

 

[Into The Light]

i still think at some level things can get repressed to the point that you don't get flashbacks. when your subconscious has locked things up and thrown away the key. the pre-flashback period of utter and complete denial.

great analogy, i think i'm going to clean out my fridge in the morning :lol:

 

[forgetmenot]

I think you are right ITL as there was a time i had no flashbacks maybe some anxiety of unknown cause but i never had these flashbacks i was functioning so well then I was totally in control but then maybe it was the self i had developed that was in control. Either way the flashbacks didn't come out until something major triggered them