DBT - Question about the skills and why these skills are taught if...

[positivethoughts]

I am presently going to a DBT group learning the skills and techniques to help me with my reactions to my envoirment and interactions with people.

During the group,I was commenting on the use of DBT teqniques. I was asking about why is it that the skills which I am being taught are not working with the children/family. I was saying that it feels like the kids have been conditioned to do things only after I have reached the point that I am yelling. I was questioning why the skills were not working for me.

I was then told from the group leader that the skills that I am learning usally does not work with the family....So why am I learning these skills if most/approximately 90% of the time my interaction/relationships are with my family members??

I need skills to help me interact and react approprately with not only the outside world but with the people closest to me....

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: DBT- Question about the skills and why this skills are thaught if...

Dialectical Behavior Therapy is a variant of CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) primarily aimed at helping you to manage your own interpretations and emotional reactions both to your internal dialogues and to interactions with other people, and to learn how to better tolerate anxiety and anger and other forms of your own distress.

It's not about changing other people. It's about changing you.

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: DBT- Question about the skills and why this skills are thaught if...

When you change then you will react differently thus helping your children see a more controlled you a more positive YOU and that in itself will help you children because they learn from what they see and what they hear

 

[positivethoughts]

I know it is about how I react to the environment, about my reaction to the issues which come up. I know I can not change others or control other ( even thou I still try); I can only change myself and learn to control my own reactions ... what I heard this group leader say is that the skill in the DBT program is for the relationships outside our family; that when it comes to family it will not help how I react....

This is where I am confused....I believed that the DBT skills are there to help me learn to think differently about my relationships and help me change how I react to relationships/environment/issues/ situtations.

So why would this leader say this?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I don't know. Why not ask the person who said it for clarification?