Hi,
I guess one part of me thinks I may be depressed and another says that I have just been dealing with a lot of stuff in the last few years.
Firstly, I was sexually abused by my brother (10 years my senior) for several years from the age of about 8. I am still dealing with this and I guess I am struggling to continue to heal... I kind of work on it for a week or a few months and then stagnate and opt to think "Im over it"... this is really hard. Then there is my relationship with my mother who knew about the abuse... and even once told by myself as a child, kicked my brother out only to allow him back in that night. Then as I got older and tried to tell people that I didn't want to spend time with him... I was always brushed off with comments like, he cant help it... he is schizophrenic (he was diagnosed when I was about 15).
Then whilst dealing with that I have had my grandmother, grandfather, 2 x uncles and a best friend die in the last two years.
In the same month this year, I lost my grandfather... had to put my beloved dog of 10 years down as he had cancer... discovered my boyfriend of 3 and a half years has been having an internet affair (which may have caught up in real life... that is still in debate).
And as horrible as I feel... I have used street drugs like amphetamines to help cope... I am unable to have sex unless I am drunk or high... I am too self-conscious and just can not get "in the mood".
I have withdrawn from friends and family... and prefer to just stay home.
Am I just dealing with circumstances? Or am I depressed?
Any advice would be great!
Thank you!
I guess one part of me thinks I may be depressed and another says that I have just been dealing with a lot of stuff in the last few years.
Firstly, I was sexually abused by my brother (10 years my senior) for several years from the age of about 8. I am still dealing with this and I guess I am struggling to continue to heal... I kind of work on it for a week or a few months and then stagnate and opt to think "Im over it"... this is really hard. Then there is my relationship with my mother who knew about the abuse... and even once told by myself as a child, kicked my brother out only to allow him back in that night. Then as I got older and tried to tell people that I didn't want to spend time with him... I was always brushed off with comments like, he cant help it... he is schizophrenic (he was diagnosed when I was about 15).
Then whilst dealing with that I have had my grandmother, grandfather, 2 x uncles and a best friend die in the last two years.
In the same month this year, I lost my grandfather... had to put my beloved dog of 10 years down as he had cancer... discovered my boyfriend of 3 and a half years has been having an internet affair (which may have caught up in real life... that is still in debate).
And as horrible as I feel... I have used street drugs like amphetamines to help cope... I am unable to have sex unless I am drunk or high... I am too self-conscious and just can not get "in the mood".
I have withdrawn from friends and family... and prefer to just stay home.
Am I just dealing with circumstances? Or am I depressed?
Any advice would be great!
Thank you!