Freespiritgirl1007
Member
Hello all!
Well today is Christmas eve and this is the first year I am spending it alone. I was at my parents house earlier but like always it turned into a bashing session and I just thought I would rather be alone than subject myself to this. I am really at a loss though and went searching the web for advice... And ended up here. I would like to share my situation and if anyone is willing, I would love some advice.
For as long as I can remember, I have been the black sheep, so to speak, of my family. I am very successful and feel I have done a lot in my life, but it never seems to be enough for my family (mother, father, and brother) even now that I am an adult. I honestly think my family only loves me because they have to, but they most certainly do not like me. I keep trying to save the relationship, because they have done nice things for me (like buying me Christmas presents) but my problem is that I feel I am being verbally attacked every time we get together. It's like my personality just bothers them. My mom makes comments about my clothes or my boyfriend or how nurse practitioner school isn't as good as med school, and I should be an MD not an NP. She really cannot say good job without adding a "but" into the sentence. My dad is normally the best to be around,but every now and the he just snaps and it is always something along the line of me being over dramatic and playing the victim role. They tell me I am so immature and selfish and a prima donna.... Things of this nature. But I am independent, in school making all A's, and incredibly broke.
how can a prima donna be poor?
My brother is like fuel to my parents and I don't remember the last time I was around him for longer than five minutes without feeling hurt or sad by his comments. Everyone together is just plain overwhelming. Tonight was the perfect example. My brother's dog and my dog started to seriously fight over a bone and I couldn't help but scream (they were right at my feet). My brother starts if off with asking me if a scream was really necessary (filled with sarcasm) and then just does not stop. Then of course my parents follow his lead and jump in and all of the sudden I am sitting there with three people calling me names and yelling at me. It does make me upset and I try not to crybut sometimes I just can't help it. My mom ended up telling me to go spend Christmas with my boyfriends family. So I left and went to my house. She wants me to come back tomorrow but to be honest, I don't know if I want to. I feel bad though, because they bought me presents, and I don't want to seem ungrateful but I just don't know if my sanity is worth it. I know that as soon as I gt there I will get a comment about me "storming off and pouting like a 16 year old child." and "I keep thinking eventually you will grow out of this but you have yet again proven me wrong."
I guess I just don't get it because I have never been a bad kid. I had my spell of being a smart mouth as a teen, but I have never been arrested, never got even a speeding ticket, always made great grades in school, finished one degree and working on a second, eat healthy, run marathons, send cards when cards need to be sent, attend their parties with their friends when they want to "show off the family" ..... I mean, I know I am far from perfect, but seriously, it could be worse. I am just getting older and to the point where I question if I really need them in my life. If I ruin everyone's fun, then do they really even want me in their life?
Someone told me that however you feel about someone is probably how they feel about you. Maybe it is just time to call it quits. I am tried of getting made fun of and being a verbal punching bag. They make me feel like something is wrong with me.
Oh and just to say, I have tried what feels like everything with them. Anytime I try to tell them how I feel they pull the "you are just such a victim aren't you" card and it pretty much closes the convo. I have tried proving my worth with my good grades and being successful in my pursuits in life thus far, but that is still never good enough, and I have asked several times for them to go to family counseling with me in which they were appalled. Everything is my fault to them. I just don't know.
So let the votes begin... Should I go back to their house tomorrow for Christmas and just get through it then run like the wind once it is over, or should I sleep in and not have to deal with the verbal attacks, but spend my first ever Christmas alone?
Well today is Christmas eve and this is the first year I am spending it alone. I was at my parents house earlier but like always it turned into a bashing session and I just thought I would rather be alone than subject myself to this. I am really at a loss though and went searching the web for advice... And ended up here. I would like to share my situation and if anyone is willing, I would love some advice.
For as long as I can remember, I have been the black sheep, so to speak, of my family. I am very successful and feel I have done a lot in my life, but it never seems to be enough for my family (mother, father, and brother) even now that I am an adult. I honestly think my family only loves me because they have to, but they most certainly do not like me. I keep trying to save the relationship, because they have done nice things for me (like buying me Christmas presents) but my problem is that I feel I am being verbally attacked every time we get together. It's like my personality just bothers them. My mom makes comments about my clothes or my boyfriend or how nurse practitioner school isn't as good as med school, and I should be an MD not an NP. She really cannot say good job without adding a "but" into the sentence. My dad is normally the best to be around,but every now and the he just snaps and it is always something along the line of me being over dramatic and playing the victim role. They tell me I am so immature and selfish and a prima donna.... Things of this nature. But I am independent, in school making all A's, and incredibly broke.
how can a prima donna be poor? My brother is like fuel to my parents and I don't remember the last time I was around him for longer than five minutes without feeling hurt or sad by his comments. Everyone together is just plain overwhelming. Tonight was the perfect example. My brother's dog and my dog started to seriously fight over a bone and I couldn't help but scream (they were right at my feet). My brother starts if off with asking me if a scream was really necessary (filled with sarcasm) and then just does not stop. Then of course my parents follow his lead and jump in and all of the sudden I am sitting there with three people calling me names and yelling at me. It does make me upset and I try not to crybut sometimes I just can't help it. My mom ended up telling me to go spend Christmas with my boyfriends family. So I left and went to my house. She wants me to come back tomorrow but to be honest, I don't know if I want to. I feel bad though, because they bought me presents, and I don't want to seem ungrateful but I just don't know if my sanity is worth it. I know that as soon as I gt there I will get a comment about me "storming off and pouting like a 16 year old child." and "I keep thinking eventually you will grow out of this but you have yet again proven me wrong."
I guess I just don't get it because I have never been a bad kid. I had my spell of being a smart mouth as a teen, but I have never been arrested, never got even a speeding ticket, always made great grades in school, finished one degree and working on a second, eat healthy, run marathons, send cards when cards need to be sent, attend their parties with their friends when they want to "show off the family" ..... I mean, I know I am far from perfect, but seriously, it could be worse. I am just getting older and to the point where I question if I really need them in my life. If I ruin everyone's fun, then do they really even want me in their life?
Someone told me that however you feel about someone is probably how they feel about you. Maybe it is just time to call it quits. I am tried of getting made fun of and being a verbal punching bag. They make me feel like something is wrong with me.
Oh and just to say, I have tried what feels like everything with them. Anytime I try to tell them how I feel they pull the "you are just such a victim aren't you" card and it pretty much closes the convo. I have tried proving my worth with my good grades and being successful in my pursuits in life thus far, but that is still never good enough, and I have asked several times for them to go to family counseling with me in which they were appalled. Everything is my fault to them. I just don't know.
So let the votes begin... Should I go back to their house tomorrow for Christmas and just get through it then run like the wind once it is over, or should I sleep in and not have to deal with the verbal attacks, but spend my first ever Christmas alone?
