David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Dealing with disappointment
December 7, 2007
By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.
Mayo Clinic
My colleagues and I continue to be humbled, touched, and energized by the heroes participating in our online community. These stories empower each of us to move forward, sometimes under difficult conditions.
In 1966, a relatively obscure nightclub singer from Hoboken, N.J., won a Grammy award for a song, "It Was a Very Good Year." His name: Frank Sinatra.
One sentence resonated with a powerful story shared with me by a patient and here is how the lyrics went, " ... but now the days grow short, I am in the autumn of the year."
The drift of the song is that winter follows autumn and winter is a time of darkness, sadness, and little life; however, following winter, spring and summer surely come.
Now, what does this mean to us? What is the connection? Well, here is the story.
Last spring, a wonderful couple, a "power couple," was vacationing in Arizona. They were in their early fifties; they had grabbed the brass ring of life with gusto and had all the trappings of success. After a round of golf, the woman noticed vague back discomfort. It certainly did not seem like anything worrisome. However, the pain progressed. They sought guidance and the practitioner advised a CAT scan of the back.
Much to the horror of the physician, patient and her spouse, the spine was riddled with advanced cancer. Subsequent studies clearly showed that a cancer arose from the kidney, quietly, and had spread throughout the abdominal area. Surgery was not feasible nor was radiation an option. Following multiple attempts at chemotherapy and other types of treatments, the patient died four months later.
I became close to this couple and felt a certain "connectedness." Following the death of his beloved spouse, the husband shared with me the eulogy.
The message was simple: As he looked into the eyes of the mourners sitting in the church, he knew that everyone had suffered a major loss, yet somehow they moved forward, sometimes backwards, but almost always in a forward direction of healing. He went on to say that he was energized by the strength and the support of the fellow mourners. Then, he emphasized one single point: Without a sense of community, connectedness, faith, family, and friends, it is virtually impossible to heal and move forward. So, we continue to hear the same recurrent themes.
What tactics have we used to deal with life's disappointments and unfairness and how do we move forward in face of adversity?
December 7, 2007
By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.
Mayo Clinic
My colleagues and I continue to be humbled, touched, and energized by the heroes participating in our online community. These stories empower each of us to move forward, sometimes under difficult conditions.
In 1966, a relatively obscure nightclub singer from Hoboken, N.J., won a Grammy award for a song, "It Was a Very Good Year." His name: Frank Sinatra.
One sentence resonated with a powerful story shared with me by a patient and here is how the lyrics went, " ... but now the days grow short, I am in the autumn of the year."
The drift of the song is that winter follows autumn and winter is a time of darkness, sadness, and little life; however, following winter, spring and summer surely come.
Now, what does this mean to us? What is the connection? Well, here is the story.
Last spring, a wonderful couple, a "power couple," was vacationing in Arizona. They were in their early fifties; they had grabbed the brass ring of life with gusto and had all the trappings of success. After a round of golf, the woman noticed vague back discomfort. It certainly did not seem like anything worrisome. However, the pain progressed. They sought guidance and the practitioner advised a CAT scan of the back.
Much to the horror of the physician, patient and her spouse, the spine was riddled with advanced cancer. Subsequent studies clearly showed that a cancer arose from the kidney, quietly, and had spread throughout the abdominal area. Surgery was not feasible nor was radiation an option. Following multiple attempts at chemotherapy and other types of treatments, the patient died four months later.
I became close to this couple and felt a certain "connectedness." Following the death of his beloved spouse, the husband shared with me the eulogy.
The message was simple: As he looked into the eyes of the mourners sitting in the church, he knew that everyone had suffered a major loss, yet somehow they moved forward, sometimes backwards, but almost always in a forward direction of healing. He went on to say that he was energized by the strength and the support of the fellow mourners. Then, he emphasized one single point: Without a sense of community, connectedness, faith, family, and friends, it is virtually impossible to heal and move forward. So, we continue to hear the same recurrent themes.
What tactics have we used to deal with life's disappointments and unfairness and how do we move forward in face of adversity?
