i was just wondering if there any books out there that are recommended that discuss the impact of depression on family life, on the relationship with your spouse/life partner, and how to overcome and heal from that impact?
Dealing with depression fallout requires first and foremost an understanding that your depression sufferer has a common, treatable illness, and that its symptoms include the following. In the right-hand column are the ones doctors use to diagnose depression. In the left-hand column are the unofficial, but nonetheless real-life, symptoms that you observe, especially when you are alone together.
self-absorbed, selfish, unaware or unconcerned about the needs of others
unresponsive, uncommunicative, aloof
changeable and unpredictable; illogical and unreasonable
pleasant and charming in public, the opposite at home
makes inexplicable and sudden references to separation and divorce
mean, belittling and critical
increased use of alcohol and drugs
a persistent sad, "empty" or anxious mood
loss of interest or pleasure in activities previously enjoyed, including sex
sleep and appetite disturbances
difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
irritability, excessive crying
thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
chronic aches and pains that don't respond to treatment
The unofficial list of symptoms explains why depressive illness undermines good relationships and disrupts families. Identifying, understanding, and learning how to cope with them is the first step in helping both the person you love and yourself.
The book suggests ways to tell your spouse, lover, parent, or child that they may be depressed, and persuade them to seek a doctor for diagnosis and treatment.
i didn't care about others' needs or feelings when normally i should and would have. it was all about me.
I especially point that out to clients who are depressed and don't want to take medication - it's not just you that you have to worry about - it's also the people who love you - if you won't do it for you, do it for them.
TL said:Since the first, explanatory, paragraph talked about the Unofficial Symptoms as being those that "you" (I took this to mean the non-depressed partner) observe, I'm wondering if they don't mean that the symptoms mentioned are what the non-depressed person perceives, as opposed to what the depressed person is actually feeling.