Ex-wife died-Children haven't seen her in 10 years-Do I tell

[hamoor]

MY EX WIFE DIED- CHILDREN HAVENT SEEN HER FOR 10 YEARS THEY ARE 14 AND 13 --THE ONLY CONTACT IS WHEN SHE USE TO SEND GIFTS FOR THEIR BIRTHDAY. THE GIRL SPOKE ONCE 3 YEARS AGO TO HER MOTHER. THEY NEVER ASKED TO SPEAK TO HER , BASICALLY THEY NEVER BROUGHT UP HER SUBJECT--NOW I NEED HELP DO I TELL THEM SHE DIED--SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME

<admin note: Please don't type in all caps... it's hard to read.>

 

[HA]

Welcome Hamoor,

Sorry to hear about this difficult situation. Yes, you should tell them. Children need to know that a parent has died. I would consult with an organization that deals with suicide to learn how to tell them and what to expect. Here is a hotline number with trained counsellors who can point you to another resource if they are not able to assist you.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK, provides access to trained telephone counselors, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

 

[ThatLady]

I agree with HeartArt. The right thing to do is to tell the children their mother is dead. Even though they never mention her, you can't know what's in their thoughts.

If she once sent gifts, there might always be that little, niggling thought in the back of their minds that she might make contact again. Knowing that she has passed on will give them closure and allow them to go on with their lives.

 

[^^Phoenix^^]

I aggree too, it stops any agro later on when they may decide that they want to see her agian. The best person that they could hear it from is you.
Take care