Extended families

[forgetmenot]

Seems society today just is totally against this concept

Just it works in other cultures aunts uncles grandparents cousins children all living together

This society expects when one turns an adult they are to go off and start a home of their own and not stay with family

I don't understand why there is so much pressure in that way.
My grandparents had children that lived with them as adults they got jobs lived their live but stayed under same roof there was no pressure to leave they all supported each other.

Why push someone out the door that is simply not ready and maybe never be ready to leave as long as they are trying making a path for themselves why isolate them in a world where there is no supports doesn't make sense

Changes growth will happen and more so under the safety net of a caring family.
I just simply cannot see any logic because each time there was no safety net that is when the instability came that is when all the hard work one obtained to stay stable fell apart There was no safety net no support

Why can it not be like the old days like a western society where family members stayed together and supported each other under same roof for life it is not frowned upon there why here.

 

[eva]

I think the simple answer for this is that the structure of family units change over time based on what is economically necessary. The 'nuclear family' unit that most people live by today (only parents and spouses in one home) is something that evolved out of the rise and evolution of the middle class - in which it's easier for smaller family units to make a living under one roof.

But because the economy has been bad for a few years now, it's harder and harder for a person's offsprings to just up and start their own adult life once they finish their formal education. The average age at which children permanently move out of their parent's home is rising because of the cost of living compared to how much most people can actually make. And we haven't adjusted because it's the family structure that most of society is 'used to'.

There's also downsides to having a bunch of extended family under one roof, though - it would be harder to have privacy! And I know people like to say, "oh, we're in the digital age and information is everywhere and privacy is disappearing" - but privacy and confidentiality can be very important things in all of our mental health challenges and our recoveries. And sadly, not everyone can be assured a safety net from their entire family. I know that some of my parent's siblings and cousins and such would probably be very reluctant to be supportive and understanding if they knew the extent of what my immediate family deals with.

It's sad that the bad economy of our world seems to 'forbid' us from having more personalized, co-operate relationships with our extended families. With how rough things are right now for most people's money, it sure would be beneficial if having more family under one roof were considered 'normal' because people could pitch in and help each other, but at the same time, not everyone can be guaranteed the necessary level of help from their families.

Wicked world we live in, really.

 

[forgetmenot]

The simplicity of the days of the past the kindness the compassion for each other is not there even amongst families it seems. There is just too much emphasis put on self and not on others. There just does not seem to be any connection anymore everyone is thrown everywhere and no one has time for each other. If the world would just slow down some and started connecting again to people and not machines. I think the world need to reassess what is happening and stop judging others for what is needed for today. Thanks for your reply hun it make sense what you have said .

 

[eva]

You're absolutely right - the world moves too fast sometimes partly because we're so connected to machines, and we judge when we see those who fall behind expectations. It's sad and its frustrating because it's harder to make time for each other. I hardly ever see my extended family and for all the social anxiousness I feel around my aunts and uncles, I love my cousins. They're my favourite people, and it's sad that we're all grown up now and it's so much harder to get together with them and have happy and supportive good times. Instead we're all working or sitting around looking at phones or computers all day.

But the positive side to machines is that people can find knowledge that they couldn't have found before. It's easier to find communities that understand us and listen - like this great forum.

 

[MHealthJo]

Yeah. I do think there would be something quite nurturing and natural about some of the cultures that still exist in some parts of the world, where extended families live physically close or together, or perhaps share certain walking-distance shared facilities or shared locations in the little village group or clan.

When progress and change happens in human culture, it usually seems like you gain something but also lose something... So many good things would not have been accomplished without certain types of progress and development... but many less positive or downright negative things would not have existed, either...

 

[forgetmenot]

Isolation is more prevalent today there is no one to reach out to

In an extended family they would have each others support Yes technology has filled a void for some people

The forums have become a connection to people not the same though. So easily people are thrown aside they are even in technology there a ways to ignore block ban others that don't fit in.
I do think in time something will happen and it is i think that the family connection that use to be will eventually in some way return .
Societies views will have to change yet again to be more understanding more accepting of the way families chose to live.

 

[MHealthJo]

Some things seem to swing like a pendulum a bit, don't they... for example, look how much Western cultural ideas about raising children can change or diversify in a relatively short time
... for example viewpoints about things like the value of breastfeeding, the healthy or "best" way to handle when a baby is crying or has not gone to sleep, etc etc....

I guess one advantage we seem to have now is much more scientific research into psychology/mental health and how things affect people.... and we now also have more communication technologies for disseminating that information...

Who knows... maybe ironically the internet, with its pitfalls to avoid, will also eventually become the catalyst for wider knowledge and acceptance of various healthy, diverse and more physically connected ways of living...