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Fear and Beer

I'm going to go to college soon. I'm going to have a room mate and I'm going to be pretty much by myself. I can't help being afraid of drunks. People do really stupid things when their drunk and I'm afraid that my room mate is going to get drunk and <hurt me>. I'm also going to be on the streets a lot too. Working and college go hand in hand because college is expensive. Is there a way I can survive that doesn't involve me <being hurt or hurting other people because I'm afraid they're going to hurt me>?
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Re: Fear and Beer


I can understand your anxiety about leaving for college and being on your own however I am a little confused as to whether you are afraid of your roommate hurting you or you are afraid you are going to hurt your roommate. You mention both in your post and I am not sure which one or both is causing you anxiety and fear?

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
ST, first, you need to realize that these are irrational fears. Drunk or sober, it is highly unlikely that your roommate or anyone else is going to hurt you.

What I would strongly suggest is that you talk to a counselor at your high school, if you can, or another colunselor - and when you get to college talk to a colunselor there if this is still worrying you.

Also, see if you can find a book by David Burns called The Feeling Good Handbook (Penguin, 1999). This will help you to recognize, identify, and change the irrational thoughts that drive these fears. Read the Psychlinks thread called "The Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking" as a starting point.

Daniel E.
Even if you were going to prison, odds are you would not be harmed. A realistic scenario is that your roommate is a liberal arts major with more ideals than muscles.

My friends and I who went to a large university (40,000+ students) never even heard of a roommate physically hurting other roommates.

I'm also going to be on the streets a lot too.
I was friends with a girl in college who would carry mace. She used it only once -- accidentally -- in her dorm room when there was no one else there. She had to evacuate her dorm room for at least a few hours because of the smell/irritation.

Daniel E.
Additionally, to help prevent feeling helpless and vunerable, some people say that everyone should learn a few self-defense strategies. For example:

- Go for the nose with the heel of your hand.
- Go for the groin with your elbows and knees

Having said that, most college campuses are the among the safest areas of most towns. Part of the reason is because there are students (potential witnesses and rescuers) everywhere, even at night, and most large colleges have their own police department.
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