Fear of... commitment?

[Emotions_Blocked]

This relationship has found you on a critical moment of your life, didn't it? I hear that you are trying to form your male identity these days. You have some ideas about how a man should be but you have your doubts about whether you can fulfill this man role. You compare what you know about yourself from your experiences up to now with this man role and you find yourself somehow deficient.

exactly.

The relationship seems to have turned around these things, too. You probably admired you Ex and were inspired by her independence. For her part, she pointed out your "weaknesses" and this made you more worried.
But, as you say, on this specific occasion you have made a step forward. You know for sure that you are really good at flirting. You are confident about this part of yourself. But when the relationship reached your unknown territoriies, the deep feelings and the future, your confidence turned into thin air.

100%..

Maybe I am totally wrong but it seems to me that your Ex played the role of a big mirror to you. She had the independence you crave for. Through her you could touch and taste your dream, your need. Is this so or not?

yes....

Now, without her, you have returned to your life of boredom. The torch of fire went out and you are left with a black burned wood stick in your hands. You have your plans and your dreams but they lack the ignition this relationship gave to them. She has the fire that keeps you running. Now that she has left, you are not in the mood to fulfil your plans. The only thing that keeps you running is the competition between you and your imagination of the future with her inside it, next to you. Am I right?

again,correct..

I do not think it is bad. I think that these imaginations serve a purpose for you right now. Do you think it is bad?

i don't know.maybe it's meaningless.maybe it's holding me back from moving on.maybe it's alerting that she and only she is the one i imagine next to me.
It's definately horror when i think she's moving on,or maybe dating,having sex and all.I'd like to hear from her some good words.It's not gonna happen though.She's too egoist and smart to do that.