Fear of Insomnia: Insomniphobia?

[BluMac81]

So I recently, after experiencing a very stressful week, have been absolutely dreading going to bed. And when I say dreading, I mean having some full blown panic attacks while lying in bed. The fear? It's this stupid cycle of:

1. Dreading having to go to bed all day long, trying to stretch the day out as long as possible
2. When bed time comes, thinking, 'I better fall asleep tonight, I just have to.....'
3. If some time (10 min usually) goes by I start to panic, insanely worrying that if I don't get sleep I will lose my mind or die or live in some sort of living hell due to being sleepy all the time.
4. Because of the increased pressure to sleep from #2 and the increased heart rate from #3, I indeed do NOT sleep.
5. I get out of bed after tossing and turning for hours, and feel incredibly alone, seeing that it is night, 2 or 3am, and I cannot go anywhere cause everything is closed, can't call anyone cause everyone is sleeping (but me), and my apartment walls start closing in on me, and I start feeling intense feelings of panic, isolation, loneliness, fear, and depression.
6. Eventually after hours upon hours of torturous (for me) insomnia, I actually do sleep, but, I wake up every 2-3 hours and often am eager to get out of the bed, thus ending up sleep deprived, because I'm just....afraid of my bed!
7. And back to #1

I seriously need to find a way out of this horrific cycle, so I would appreciate it if anyone could offer some advise regarding the situation, perhaps correct my thinking errors and the like. My heart sinks even now when I realize another hour has gone by and bedtime is going to come sooner than I expect.

I should probably list here what sleep aids I use, and other things that might effect sleep:
-I'm not drinking caffinated beverages anymore
-I eat a moderately high sugar amount
-My bedtime meds include: Lunesta 3mg, Robaxin 1500mg, Cyclobenzaprine 20mg, Xanax 1mg, Trazadone 50mg.
-I generally use good sleep hygeine, bathing before bed, making my bed look comfy, not eating big meals before bed.
-It should be noted I recently started taking Suboxone 4mg/day, speaking to my psychiatrist, he says it is typical the first few nights on the medication sleeplessness can occur, and sleeplessness is listed in the side effects (but I do have to take the med still.)
-I don't drink alcohol
-I do have chewing tobacco often
-I barely exercise at all during the day (suboxone makes you rather lethargic)

Thanks everyone, I know this may seem like a silly thing to get worked up about, but for me, it is very real, and very distressing.

 

[Jazzey]

Re: Fear of Insomnia; Insomniphobia?

Hi Blue,

Your description is somewhat familiar to me (at least in the last few years). Solution? I've just accepted that I will have those nights. And, I go for walks - many, many, many walks. If I can't sleep after laying down for 20 mins, I distract myself - either by reading some mindless novel or, by watching lighthearted tv (no news, no crime / high action stuff). But I do all of it away from the bedroom. Eventually, I start feeling drowsy and I can go to bed. The other thing - miracle inventions - I was offered a clock radio where you can diminish the digital lighting of the time - i.e. - I turn it off completely so that I cannot focus on time.

The exercise thing is the thing that helps me the most Blue...I know it's hard when you're tired, but even a 10 mins walk in fresh air does wonder for my sleeping patterns...

 

[BluMac81]

Re: Fear of Insomnia; Insomniphobia?

Thanks Jazzey! Yeah I didn't think about just getting up and going for a walk in the middle of the night, that might be something to try for me when my apartment walls are closing in on me. And yeah I do similar distraction tasks, like last night I got on the web and read an article about 'cute but deadly' animals lol. I stopped using illuminated clocks a long time ago (this issue is an old one), and just use my cellphone on silent to check the time, also having a phone next to me helps me feel a bit safer.

You're so right on the exercise, I decided today that I would exercise whether I felt like it or not, so I walked through the snow to the apartment's heated pool and went for a swim for 10 minutes! It felt refreshing, was good exercise, and I had the pool all to myself since no one else is brave enough to swim when it's snowing lol.

One thing I have to remind myself of a lot of in these episodes of insomnia is that not sleeping generally won't kill you since you'd fall asleep unconcious before you'd have a heart attack due to insomnia. But it is the going crazy thing I am more scared of, if there is disproving facts that not sleeping will give you hallucinations, demensia, paranoia, panic, etc out there, I'd like to hear them. The other thing I didn't mention is ye ol' phobophobia. Yep, the fear of fear, or more specifically, the fear of having a panic attack, now that is one endless cycle. Panic is not fun, you end up in your own world and feel so isolated from everyone else who seems 'ok'. Then you get mad at yourself for panicing and the fact that you can't will your panic away, and even things like deep breathing and meditation (or benzos) don't work, and you feel like you're going to be in this state forever.

I guess that's when you need to draw from you life experience, and realize that, this too shall pass.

---------- Post added at 08:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:08 PM ----------

I went back to a book that helped me with this problem a long while ago, and will quote from it for whoever else suffers with this problem; also has some interesting facts!

Book is: Say Goodnight To Insomnia by Gregg Jacobs PhD.

The book states that to solve this problem, you must perform cognitive restructuring (correcting thought errors) in regards to your NSTs (negative sleep thoughts.)

1. The eight hour sleep myth: "The belief that everyone must get eight hours of sleep is a myth. People are not the same height and weight and their sleep needs vary as well. Although adults average just under seven and a half hours of nighttime sleep, many individuals function effectively on less. In fact, 20 percent of the population sleeps six or fewer hours per night, and research shows that some adults function with as little as three hours per night."

2. You are getting more sleep than you think: "In a study at the Stanford University Sleep Clinic, 122 insomniacs spent the night in a sleep lab so that their sleep could be measured with brain-wave recordings. On the average, these individuals overestimated the time it took them to fall asleep by thirty minutes and underestimated their total sleep time by one hour. This is most likely due to stage 2 sleep being unnoticed."

3. Effects of sleep loss: "There is no scientific evidence that insomnia causes significant health problems, and no one has ever died from insomnia. Even extended sleeplessness may have little effect on us other than making us feel very sleepy. This was illustrated by Randy Gardner, who stayed awake in an experiment for eleven days and established the world record for sleeplessness. Randy did experience increased irritability and drowsiness, but never delusions or hallucinations. When he finally went to bed, he slept for under fifteen hours and afterward felt fine with no ill effects. Studies on college students and physicians suggest that performance can be maintained with about 70 percent of normal sleep."

Good stuff huh!