forgetmenot
MVP
Fear that stops you cold in your tracks. How does one get over this fear of rejection from people and the pain it may bring.
- Thread starter forgetmenot
- Start date
white page
Member
Hi Mary ,
I relate to what you are saying there.
It is perhaps a good idea not to anticipate the rejection or the pain .
If you approach people with this sort of anxiety , they will pick up the micro signals you are sending out ; and therefore be less likely to open up to you.
This is certainly something you could discuss with your therapist , to work on coping stratagems to overcome these unfounded apprehensions .
Most people have these apprenhensions to a greater or lesser degree .
When you meet someone new , think of that and try to put them at ease
by smiling at them and holding out your hand to them . Take things into control .
We all want to be liked and accepted ,but it is not possible to be liked by everyone , as it is not possible for you to like everyone .
I relate to what you are saying there.
It is perhaps a good idea not to anticipate the rejection or the pain .
If you approach people with this sort of anxiety , they will pick up the micro signals you are sending out ; and therefore be less likely to open up to you.
This is certainly something you could discuss with your therapist , to work on coping stratagems to overcome these unfounded apprehensions .
Most people have these apprenhensions to a greater or lesser degree .
When you meet someone new , think of that and try to put them at ease
by smiling at them and holding out your hand to them . Take things into control .
We all want to be liked and accepted ,but it is not possible to be liked by everyone , as it is not possible for you to like everyone .
forgetmenot
MVP
Thanks White Page it is not so much people but what they will say. I am afraid to pick up the phone and call about forms being filled out. I am afraid the person on the other end will say something negative. This fear i have is internal it stops me from doing things that needs to be done. Important matters that get postponed because i just don't have it in me to call. I would actually pay someone to do calling for me just to avoid the anxiety of it.
white page
Member
Hi Mary ,
This I can relate to as well . A secratary once gave me a wonderful tip , she said that conversations on the telephone became automatically more agreeable if you smile when picking up the phone . Smiling sends feel good signals to your brain , and this makes you more confident and more articulate when speaking to your correspondant .
Many people have phone phobia , myself included
It is an effort for me to pick up the phone .
Do you have a particular situation in mind ?, may be we could help you with it ,by proposing key phrases you could use .
This I can relate to as well . A secratary once gave me a wonderful tip , she said that conversations on the telephone became automatically more agreeable if you smile when picking up the phone . Smiling sends feel good signals to your brain , and this makes you more confident and more articulate when speaking to your correspondant .
Many people have phone phobia , myself included
It is an effort for me to pick up the phone .
Do you have a particular situation in mind ?, may be we could help you with it ,by proposing key phrases you could use .
forgetmenot
MVP
I have to phone Heather's psychiatrist office to see if the forms i dropped off last week are filled out and ready for me to pick up
Cat Dancer
MVP
I have major phone phobia. I had to phone a doctor's office this morning to cancel and reschedule an appointment. I was scared and nervous they would be upset with me.
What I do/did is make sure I'm concise and clear in speaking and also pleasant. I provide the necessary information in a matter of fact tone and how they react to me is up to them. I'm not responsible for someone else's feelings or emotions. The phone call went well and I got my appointment rescheduled with no problems.
They deal with lots and lots of similar phone calls all day long and, really, to them you're just another caller. They are not obsessing over the phone calls like we do. Knowing this helps me for some reason. Knowing that as soon as I hang up it's on to the next phone call for them and I'm just a blip on the radar screen so to speak.
If they're rude to me after I was nice and considerate then that is their problem and not mine. It doesn't make me feel good of course, but it's totally out of my control and I have to keep reminding myself of that. Not my issue. Their issue. It's not rejection or anything like that. It's just someone with a bad attitude who most likely treats others that way as well no matter what.
What I do/did is make sure I'm concise and clear in speaking and also pleasant. I provide the necessary information in a matter of fact tone and how they react to me is up to them. I'm not responsible for someone else's feelings or emotions. The phone call went well and I got my appointment rescheduled with no problems.
They deal with lots and lots of similar phone calls all day long and, really, to them you're just another caller. They are not obsessing over the phone calls like we do. Knowing this helps me for some reason. Knowing that as soon as I hang up it's on to the next phone call for them and I'm just a blip on the radar screen so to speak.
If they're rude to me after I was nice and considerate then that is their problem and not mine. It doesn't make me feel good of course, but it's totally out of my control and I have to keep reminding myself of that. Not my issue. Their issue. It's not rejection or anything like that. It's just someone with a bad attitude who most likely treats others that way as well no matter what.
forgetmenot
MVP
Thanks Cat Dancer yep you know how i feel. I think i will give them one more day to call me if not i will call them tommorrow. Your right of course i am just another caller to them and if they are rude to me then that is their problem. I just have to say to myself it is not personal. It is good knowing i am not the only one with this kind of fear. Thanks again Mary.
Wolverine
Account Closed
Hello..
I think i have fear of rejection,i can't be around people because i believe i have fear they will reject me,is a reason why i never made friends and i leave in completely loneliness and isolation for almost nine years after school.I don't know what to do to stop this kind of fear,rejection and social phobia the same time,i feel helpless too.
What to do you think?:facepalm::facepalm:
I think i have fear of rejection,i can't be around people because i believe i have fear they will reject me,is a reason why i never made friends and i leave in completely loneliness and isolation for almost nine years after school.I don't know what to do to stop this kind of fear,rejection and social phobia the same time,i feel helpless too.
What to do you think?:facepalm::facepalm:
forgetmenot
MVP
i can relate hun are you see a therapist or are you on medication to help decrease this anxiety if not perhaps that would be a move you can make to call your gp and get referred to someone that can help you.
Wolverine
Account Closed
I don't know cause i'm confused,i say to myself i must go to see a therapist but always i do step back.:facepalm:
Try to remember: A therapist will never judge you or hurt you......
So there is nothing to be afraid of.....
It really can help you to become happier and have a better life!
So even though it seems scary, it's worth it......
Please do let us know when you do decide to take that step.... because we will be so excited for you and will encourage you.
So there is nothing to be afraid of.....
It really can help you to become happier and have a better life!
So even though it seems scary, it's worth it......
Please do let us know when you do decide to take that step.... because we will be so excited for you and will encourage you.
Wolverine
Account Closed
I don't see it to be soon..
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