Feb, You Say?

[phoebe22]

It's plus-freakin'-one out there. How I s'posed to sleep in a warm room in Feb? (Can't sleep in a warm room ever, but that's beside the point.) Plus one in Feb is just plain crazy ... there oughtta be a law
:hissyfit:

At this rate it's a wonder my circadians got any rhythm left ay tall.

:rtfm:


:teehee:

 

[Andy]

lol It's definitely weird weather here too. I'm not complaining though, it could be much colder.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Currently -10 C in Ottawa.

 

[Andy]

5 here, suppose to be 8 tomorrow. Weird stuff

 

[phoebe22]

lol It's definitely weird weather here too. I'm not complaining though, it could be much colder.

I don't know where "here" is ... do you usually have colder winters?

When I first moved into this region (nearly 50 years ago ), temps for Feb ranged apprx -20 to -40. I don't miss the -40, and I realize that we're stuck with changes in climate so might as well deal with the reality, but plus temps in what used to be the coldest months (Jan/Feb) are just crazy. Not only do the milder temps do nothing for the arthritis (damp), but the footing is perilous because we end up with wall-to-wall ice for three months. Once upon a time that wouldn't be a big deal, but I'm suddenly a lot more breakable than I used to be.

Oooooooooooh, I'm feeling cranky (and old) today! :lol:

:dramaqueen:

---------- Post added at 09:13 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:08 AM ----------

Currently -10 C in Ottawa.

Oh now that's just mean! :lol:

 

[Andy]

I don't know where "here" is ... do you usually have colder winters?

AB, Right next door Yes we have very cold winters.

 

[phoebe22]

AB, Right next door Yes we have very cold winters.

Definitely! Used to hear tales of winter on the Prairies that made my blood run cold, even in summer
:cold:

 

[Andy]

lol Yeah it can get chilly but the last however many years, it seems to be getting warmer.

 

[phoebe22]

lol Yeah it can get chilly but the last however many years, it seems to be getting warmer.

Same here. I don't mind fewer extremes, but it's changing way too much and way too fast for my liking. Could do (for starters) with less damp!

 

[Andy]

I agree. I actually miss the winters we use to have when I was little but they may have seemed cold with lots of snow because I was little. lol
Every time I go west I come home sick because the dampness, chills you to the bone.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Every time I go west

You are west.

 

[Andy]

lol Wester

 

[phoebe22]

I agree. I actually miss the winters we use to have when I was little but they may have seemed cold with lots of snow because I was little. lol
Every time I go west I come home sick because the dampness, chills you to the bone.

In the days when I used to travel a bit, I'd always bring home a bug of some kind; I think the human body doesn't always adjust very well to environmental changes, especially on short-term exposure. I don't seem to pick up viruses any more (hyperimmunity) but oy, the damp, even in summer, makes the bones ache. Could be worse, but I object on principle

I miss being "weatherproof". I think most kids are, and I wish it was something we didn't outgrow

I miss those cold mornings when I'd go outside to feed the horses and the sky would be so clear it didn't seem real and a new fall of hip-deep snow was so light it fell away from my legs as I walked and ice crystals nearly made me blind as they danced ahead of me. I miss the ice hanging off my mare's whiskers, the clouds of steam puffing out of her nostrils as she nuzzled up in search of her morning treat ...

It makes me terribly sad to think my grandchildren may never know what it's like to be so cold you can't feel your face but are so caught up in the beauty you don't even notice ... or care.

Oh dear ... I'm in a soppy state today. Sorry about that. It was an emotional weekend, and I hate V-Day, so bad combo. Probably one of those days when I should watch a movie (anything except a "romantic comedy") or read a good Whodunnit and not drag people down with my glooms
:vroom:

---------- Post added at 10:35 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 AM ----------

You are west.

Nooooooooo ... the Prairies are the "West"; BC is the "Pacific Coast" and consists of the lower mainland (we in the north are beyond Hope ).

Just watch the National Weather if you don't believe me :teehee:

 

[Andy]

I miss those cold mornings when I'd go outside to feed the horses and the sky would be so clear it didn't seem real and a new fall of hip-deep snow was so light it fell away from my legs as I walked and ice crystals nearly made me blind as they danced ahead of me. I miss the ice hanging off my mare's whiskers, the clouds of steam puffing out of her nostrils as she nuzzled up in search of her morning treat ...

It makes me terribly sad to think my grandchildren may never know what it's like to be so cold you can't feel your face but are so caught up in the beauty you don't even notice ... or care.

Oh dear ... I'm in a soppy state today. Sorry about that. It was an emotional weekend, and I hate V-Day, so bad combo. Probably one of those days when I should watch a movie (anything except a "romantic comedy") or read a good Whodunnit and not drag people down with my glooms

You should be a writer, I have that all pictured in my head. Sounds (and looks) nice.
Well your grandchildren will still get the cold just not the kind of cold we are use to, but to them it will be the coldest ever. lol I know what you mean though. I do love it.

No need to apologize. Sorry you had a rough weekend and V-day isn't a good holiday for you. I can take it or leave it.
I hope you were able to pick out a good movie or book to escape into.

 

[phoebe22]

You should be a writer, I have that all pictured in my head. Sounds (and looks) nice.
Well your grandchildren will still get the cold just not the kind of cold we are use to, but to them it will be the coldest ever. lol I know what you mean though. I do love it.

No need to apologize. Sorry you had a rough weekend and V-day isn't a good holiday for you. I can take it or leave it.
I hope you were able to pick out a good movie or book to escape into.

thanks i tend to wax poetic about some things; want to bring others into the experience, if that makes any sense.

yes, i guess my grandkids will experience cold (they're certainly doing so today now that it's dropped to -22) but not the beauty of those long-ago winter days. now it's always so bleak.

i think i'd tolerate v-day a bit better if even once in my life someone had made some kind of small gesture. i'm not traditional, but one notices one's worthlessness more at such times. Christmas used to be difficult, and birthdays ... hm, least said.

oh, i shouldn't be trying to "talk" today; last few days especially i've been so depressed i can hardly breathe.

 

[Andy]

thanks i tend to wax poetic about some things; want to bring others into the experience, if that makes any sense.

yes, i guess my grandkids will experience cold (they're certainly doing so today now that it's dropped to -22) but not the beauty of those long-ago winter days. now it's always so bleak.

i think i'd tolerate v-day a bit better if even once in my life someone had made some kind of small gesture. i'm not traditional, but one notices one's worthlessness more at such times. Christmas used to be difficult, and birthdays ... hm, least said.

oh, i shouldn't be trying to "talk" today; last few days especially i've been so depressed i can hardly breathe.

Makes perfect sense, and you do it well.

Well, I suppose those days are gone, but you can try to find some beauty in the new winter days, right? Not the same at all but there is always beauty out there in nature. I don't know I'm really not one to talk. lol
We just came out of a bit of a cold spell from last night, and it's warmed up a lot and is suppose to continue too get nicer out.

I can understand that, wanting to get some sort of gesture and the whole worthiness thing. Holidays can be pretty hard for people who don't have anyone around. :support:

I'm sorry your not feeling so great the last few days. Is there anything that brought this on or are you just feeling...blah?

 

[phoebe22]

I'm sorry your not feeling so great the last few days. Is there anything that brought this on or are you just feeling...blah?

just life. i can tolerate a lot, but eventually it catches up with me and takes me down. this week i had to turn down a small contract due to health stuff, then later the same day discovered that my clinician has been humouring me.
:fool:
small stuff, big implications and consequences if i don't tread very carefully. at this point i don't care ... if they want "crazy" i can give 'em crazy no problem. all i have to do is let go; it's hard work to prevent the diconnections which i wouldn't have developed if Big Brother hadn't spent the past 20 years making my life so much more difficult than it need be.

yeah, i have PTSD; and they've made it worse. it didn't cause my physical illness, but because of the abuse i receive due to my physical illness, the PTSD becomes harder to keep under control. they're forever putting the cart before the horse, which is lovely for them i'm sure but makes my life so difficult it hardly seems worth bothering.

wow ... that was quite a whinge, wasn't it? and i think this is the wrong forum to boot. i seem to be messing up a lot today ...

:sorry:

 

[Andy]

No, no, no. you didn't mess anything up with that. I promise it's all good.

Well I can definitely say I can relate on having the clinician humouring you. Very frustrating and a complete betrayal of trust IMO.

Don't be going all crazy lol that will just make things worse for you. Is there anyway you can look into getting someone else, a new clinician to look at things with fresh eyes? I imagine with PTSD, well with any illness really, the last thing you need is extra stress.
What about this contract, are there more coming your way?

It sounds like your getting bombarded with too much at once. I don't blame you for feeling down.

 

[phoebe22]

No, no, no. you didn't mess anything up with that. I promise it's all good.

Well I can definitely say I can relate on having the clinician humouring you. Very frustrating and a complete betrayal of trust IMO.

Don't be going all crazy lol that will just make things worse for you. Is there anyway you can look into getting someone else, a new clinician to look at things with fresh eyes? I imagine with PTSD, well with any illness really, the last thing you need is extra stress.
What about this contract, are there more coming your way?

It sounds like your getting bombarded with too much at once. I don't blame you for feeling down.

I'm just tired of fighting a losing battle. Not only do I already have a GP who thinks I'm imagining or making things up, but I've got half a dozen know-it-all types who, after talking to me for all of 45 minutes (or less), have managed to "psychologize" an illness (or more accurately, multiple conditions/illnesses) which had already been established, by a specialist, as very real. Now I get all these condescending platitudes about somatoform disorder and how the "pain is real" (because I perceive it as real). And the more I protest, the more I "prove" them "right". And heaven help me if I dare to get frustrated or (worse) angry; they promptly slap a "severe personality disorder" label on me. D'you know what happens if you arrive at an ER with the multiple stigma of somatoform + PD? You get scorned, scolded, and sent packing.

:hissyfit:

Well, I'm stuck now. I can't change clinicians and there'd be no point anyway; they're all as bad as each other ... the only "truth" is what my file says, never anything I say.

:fool:

So I'm thinking fine, if that's their game, I'll play it. If they refuse to listen, to conduct a few simple tests which would at least lend credence to what I've been saying lo these many long years ... to just consider the possibility that I may have a better idea than they of what's happening to the body I've lived in for nearly 60 years, then fine ... I'll play along with the headcase gig. If I can suck it up, maybe they'll leave me in peace.

:hide:

I have never denied I have problems, but what no one will even consider is that those problems were minor and under control until I'd been fighting a war on two fronts -- my physical problems + Big Brother in all his manifestations (gov't, drs, psychs) -- for nearly a decade. I dare any of them to lose everything they treasure almost literally overnight, kiss their hopes and dreams good-bye, and not be thrown for a loop.



I need a battle plan: a way to keep MH (and dr) happy and still get my basic physical survival needs met. That should be a walk in the park for someone whose brain is limping along on 1/4 impulse power at best most days



Oh ... the contract. It was presented as a bit of typing, and turned out to be a huge research project, which is way more than I can manage, especially when I've got an ear infection on top of everything else.

I'm so tired ...

:sob:

---------- Post added at 09:52 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:47 AM ----------

I lay awake all of last night with one very long, very huge and overwhelming anxiety attack over the prospect of having to see my dr at some point in the next couple of months.

 

[Andy]

Can you not just go with the specialist and what he/she says? Are you counting on these other doctors for something? I hope that I am not prying to much, if so there is no need to answer.

I know how frustrating it is to work with a handful of doctors etal. at the same time and it is very frustrating because it's like to many cooks in the kitchen, they all have their own opinions and in the end your still left going "huh?" With you it sounds as though they just are not listening anymore. Why won't they do tests and what not or are they just going by what they think after speaking with you?

Your absolutely right about getting angry in front of a Psychiatrist, it usually means something being added to your "file" instead of actually listening and understanding why your angry. I agree with the ER too, seen it, treated like second class citizens, which only makes things worse.

None, of the other "bad" ones would be a bit better if you went in there and started over? Maybe you need fresh eyes on everything even if they aren't the best doctor. I wouldn't go as far as not saying anything phoebe, you still need to take care of your health and your right, you know your body better than anyone.

Going through all of that over a decade must have been/still is horrible and I have no doubt that the stress has made things worse for you. It would be nice if people remembered to put themselves in other peoples positions. I know I could do it a lot more myself.

Why do you have to keep your MH and Dr. "happy"? Are you looking at admission if your not compliant or something? Sorry if that was a dumb question...

Oh, I'm sorry about the contract. Maybe something else will come along soon.

I can imagine how tiring all of this is for you. Do you have a therapist or psychologist? Counselor? Maybe if you had someone to talk with about all of this, I mean someone you could go and see, that might help let out some of the stress your carrying around?

Don't do that! Don't get yourself all worked up if you aren't even close to having to see him. No more stress for you!

I hope you get to feeling better, a bit better anyways.