Flashbacks

[Cin]

I keep on getting flashbacks again and now im relutant to sleep coz of the nightmares and other things.My sleep is disturbed enough and this just scares me now, i had this before and although it was hell it went away; and now its back. Im supposed to be over this now.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

What helped it to/made it go away before, Cin? And how long ago was that?

I'm supposed to be over this now.

Why? Often progress is an up-and-down, two steps ahead-one step back kind of thing rather than a straight line. The fact that these symptoms have returned doesn't mean no progress -- it just means the next stage in dealing with them.

What has happened recently that may have re-triggered the flashbacks?

 

[Cin]

Thats the thing, nothing has triggered this off, its so weird.The lst time i had this was back in june/july last year, and i have no idea how they went. I wish i knew, i wasnt even getting any support at the time, bcause it was the summer holidays. Bearing in mind just before the end of the semester i had told my counsellor about it and thats how it started. Right now im not talking about it with my therapist so i don't see why it has to come back. I know blocking it out is not healthy nor forever but i can't seem to cope with it all.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Okay, then start looking at what else is going onin your life that may be adding stress, even small amounts of stress, to your life.

 

[Cin]

Ok, thank you. Is there any way of elminating them if i dont find a specific trigger?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Actually what I was suggesting is that you could list all recent changes or stressors in your life -- perhaps here. Look at how many they are, how much "total load" they are adding to your stress, what emotional impact they are having on you, do they involve you personally or people close to you, what is your self-talk regarding these stressors, do any of them involve a sense of helplessness or "I have no control over this thing", that sort of thing...

 

[Cin]

~Im helping my mum financially and its making me feel trapped most of the time, in terms of being able to move out and hopefully move on. But I know she needs the help, and iam more than happy to help financially.

~ Im rushing through my life, not slowing down to look at what im doing, neither caring, thinking things will all fall into place in the end. Im neglecting myself, my university work and practically everything else, just trying to let day turn into night. I feel alot of the time i have no control of what iam doing, just walking around like a robot really.

~ At the place where i work, it has now been noticed that iam "tired" and am not providing customer service properly, when all this time i feel ive been trying to keep my head above water when i walk through those doors. This has worried me abit as iam scared of loosing this job(that i hate).

~ Me and mum are still the same and it just makes me feel...... stupid and worthless eveyday because i feel i can;t help her situation and im making it worse by being here somehow.

~ I feel that iam quite a burden on my family in general, i feel that im an emotional drain on everything i touch because of my undescivness, my tiredness and my obliviousness to things around me.

~ My university workload is piling up and im worried that i dont even care and that im not cable as i thought i was, my concentration is absolutley diabolical when it comes to reading, talking, writing, listening. my motivation is plummeting fast and i feel like i cant help it anymore, which is making it so tempting to give up on just, living.

~ i cant seem to stop dwelling and thinking about everything as a whole. looking at my life as a whole. watching it fall apart and feeling i have no psychial or mental control over it. Despite what people repeat to me, that this will not be forever, i cant see it that way.

~ Iam constantly psyhically and emotionally tired. It frustates me how i have alot to do but im not doing anything about it.

In total these things are everday for me, and they seem to never change..

 

[Daniel]

My university workload is piling up and im worried that i dont even care and that im not cable as i thought i was, my concentration is absolutley diabolical when it comes to reading, talking, writing, listening. my motivation is plummeting fast and i feel like i cant help it anymore, which is making it so tempting to give up on just, living.

College can be a stress factory. I'll never forget a fellow student saying that one of his writing assignments felt like pulling teeth. Even more memorable was one professor saying that she understands how much stress we are under, and saying, somewhat jokingly, that we can go to her office and cry with her.

I applaud you for just continuing to go to class, assuming you don't skip most of the lectures. When I was in college, I withdrew from all classes during several semesters, usually around or after midterms when assignments and exams started "piling up" and my symptoms got worse. In retrospect, going to college full-time was not always a good idea for me.

 

[Cin]

Thank You Daniel, I might as well not be in lectures but for some reason i still go and fall asleep in every single one. Its scary when it piles up every year and you swear to yourself you`ll never do it again, but it just seems to flow..

 

[David Baxter PhD]

~Im helping my mum financially and its making me feel trapped most of the time... But I know she needs the help, and iam more than happy to help financially.

~ Im rushing through my life, not slowing down to look at what im doing... Im neglecting myself... I feel a lot of the time i have no control of what i am doing

i am scared of losing this job(that i hate).

~ Me and mum are still the same and it just makes me feel...... stupid and worthless every day because i feel i can't help her situation and im making it worse by being here somehow.

~ I feel that i am quite a burden on my family in general

~ i cant seem to stop dwelling and thinking about everything as a whole. looking at my life as a whole. watching it fall apart and feeling i have no psychological or mental control over it.

~ Iam constantly physically and emotionally tired

these things are ever day for me, and they seem to never change..

Looking at that list, I see a lot of ambivalence, feelings of helplessness, feelings of being trapped, feelings of loss of control over your own life.

Cin, I cannot recall if you said you were seeing a therapist/counsellor -- these issues may and probably do seem to you to be insurmountable and impossible to change but this is one of the things a counsellor could assist you with -- paring down the mountain of things you feel you are facing into smaller bite-size steps and helping you to feel less overwhelmed by it all. It isn't necessary that you change all of these things in your life -- just that you make a start, a step in the direction of gaining more control over your own life and feeling less trapped.

 

[Cin]

David, Iam seeing a psychologist now yes, and its been going ok i guess, we've been talking mostly about the present, and breaking it down like you said, im not seeing any techniques yet, but hes probably doing it without me noticing no doubt. Today i spoke to him about the flashbacks and he has suggested somthing called Emotional Freedom Therapy; do you know much aboout this? I have looked up on the net and all the sites i have come across seem to make it look like some sort of money grabbing scheme. But i could be totally wrong and iam willing to try whatever it takes to help this.
Concerning all of these stressors, all my psychologist can say to me is "can u make an agreement with me that we can stay safe?", because i guess, these are things i can't escape from.We are gradually taking it step by step but i guess it takes alot of time. And in the meantime everyone suggests medication

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I haven't heard of Emotional Freedom Therapy, or at least not by that name... However, it seems to be a derivative of Thought Field Therapy and while I'm not an expert on that either I do know it has been criticized as more flash than substance.

Ask your therapist if he/she is trained in EMDR...

 

[Cin]

I doubt he is trained in EMDR, but i will ask. Ive just read up on it and it sounds very intense!
I would like to anything that wwould help but im very weary of talking about it or writing it down so i don't know if i will get very far..
I guess its got to come out somehow to get over it..
sory im mumbling ive had no sleep, i will be able to type more coherntly after a few hours..

 

[Jazzey]

David, Iam seeing a psychologist now yes, and its been going ok i guess, we've been talking mostly about the present, and breaking it down like you said, im not seeing any techniques yet, but hes probably doing it without me noticing no doubt. Today i spoke to him about the flashbacks and he has suggested somthing called Emotional Freedom Therapy; do you know much aboout this? I have looked up on the net and all the sites i have come across seem to make it look like some sort of money grabbing scheme. But i could be totally wrong and iam willing to try whatever it takes to help this.
Concerning all of these stressors, all my psychologist can say to me is "can u make an agreement with me that we can stay safe?", because i guess, these are things i can't escape from.We are gradually taking it step by step but i guess it takes alot of time. And in the meantime everyone suggests medication

What is it with people thinking that Emotional Freedom technique is even remotely appropriate for dealing with flashbacks and memories pertaining to child sexual abuse?

Here we are stuggling with memories and trying to decipher what is real and what isn't - and we're asked to hum happy birthday and count to 5 - as if this is going to alleviate the flashbacks!

Emotional Freedom Therapy may have its place for relieving every day stresses - like say - geez, I have a lot to do this week. But it's an insult to survivors to diminish what we're going through by suggesting that a form of meditation will miraculously take all of our pains away. It's offensive and results in my feeling that my current experiences are again being devalued. Except this time I get to pay someone for it.

If I needed a small bandaid, I'd go to the pharmacy, I wouldn't pay the sums of money I do to be taught a form of meditation.

Sorry, I know this thread is older but I needed to vent on this one. This week I've been dealing with a lot of flashbacks and nightmares - and the only tool I've been taught in the past 6 months is EFT - a lot of good that does me...

 

[suewatters1]

Sorry you had a bad week Jazzey.
The person that is helping you and that showing you Emotional Freedom technique is that all that they do or are there other technique they can show you. Because for me if that is all they can teach you the EFT and it's not helping you then maybe you should tell them that exactly what you told us.

But it's an insult to survivors to diminish what we're going through by suggesting that a form of meditation will miraculously take all of our pains away. It's offensive and results in my feeling that my current experiences are again being devalued. Except this time I get to pay someone for it.

Have them explain to you how they feel it should help you. Also if it is not working for you I would look around for a different treatment that might work for you. When things are not working out it's time to move on.

I am sorry you are frustrated I would be to. I have been lately trying to get into the day program at the hospital and almost 3 weeks later this Monday I will see a woman about this but not sure what she will be talking to me about. I have been trying to get help so bad and seems their is always delays.

Sue

 

[Jazzey]

Thanks Sue. I've actually made an appointment with a new psychologist trained in EMDR. I know it's stupid, I just feel like I've just wasted the past few months and I don't feel as though I've made any progress. And yes, life goes on - I still have bills to pay, a job to go to every day and a family that I have to take care of...My first appointment is on Friday. I just feel a little discouraged right now and petrified that I won't see any progress with the new psychologist - only because I can't bear to repeat this process again. Having said all of this, I'm still really hopeful that the new psychologist will blow me away and be the right person for me.

I'll be thinking of you on Monday. I hope you're able to access the program Sue.

 

[suewatters1]

Thanks Jazzey
My Dr says you should know within a few visit whether you click with your new DR. or not.
With my new Psychiatrist I suspect after my 1st visit with him that I liked him. Then after my 2nd visit this past Tuesday I realize I really do like him.
The first visit I got in like in 2 days without a referral then he booked my 2nd appointment 3 weeks later now my 3rd appointment is April 7th 2 weeks later. I really like him.
So I hope you get that connection with your new DR.

Sue

 

[Jazzey]

Thanks Sue. I'm happy that you clicked so well with your new Dr. And I'll hope for the best for me too.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Since my previous response to this thread, I have learned a little about EFT and I'm inclined to agree with Jazzey - it seems like a lot of flash with little substance to me.