Friends

[Straitjacket]

I don't know how to make or keep friends. I'm not good at instigating conversation, and people rarely instigate conversation with me. I don't understand body language or half of what people say if I'm anxious. I don't really have anything in common with people, since I'm not exactly up to date on things. It also doesn't help that I rarely leave the house.

So.. I'm stuck. I've been thinking about trying to get into some sort of volunteering thing or something, but I can't even pull myself together to get a job.

I've been feeling extremely lonely lately, and I really need someone in my life. Some sort of friend. But I just don't know how to achieve that.
Any advice for a lonely kid?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Here are some other threads at Psychlinks that might get you started, straitjacket:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/shyness-...eople-when-you-are-a-depressed-introvert.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/family-friends-and-colleagues/19433-10-ways-to-make-friends.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/family-f...ow-to-make-friends-and-get-a-social-life.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/family-friends-and-colleagues/19419-how-to-make-friends.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/family-f...s-eight-tips-for-making-yourself-likable.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/relationships/8000-how-to-make-friends.html

 

[Jackie]

How about joining a internet friendship site? Easier than actually meeting people face to face, and you might click with someone online who you could then meet with, when you felt the time was right. Just an idea

---------- Post added at 06:16 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:59 PM ----------

Join Make Friends Online for online dating and friendship

Meet Friends Online - Find Dates or Mates On The Internet - Home

Free Dating UK - Free Online Dating from Midsummer's Eve - Award Winning Free Dating Site

Some of these are Uk based but do have sections for other places, even though they are classed dating sites you can ask for friendship only. Hope this helps.

 

[Retired]

Easier than actually meeting people face to face

Certainly an option, but can it be that if online relationships dominate our lives that we risk losing the ability and skills for direct, face to face interpersonal relationships?

The ability to interact eyeball to eyeball is a life skill that is learned over a period of years, requiring trial and error and fine tuning of our ability to read peoples' faces, body language and even the tone of their voices.

I feel that if online relationships dominate our lives, then we lose the important practice time needed to hone face to face interpersonal skills.

The only way, in my opinion, to become skilled at direct contact relationships is to rehearse, role play if possible and to get out and try simple exchanges. There will be mistakes made, embarrassing moments and faux pas', but little by little, these all important skills will be learned.

Once upon a time, people talked while eating dinner, then chatted in the living room during the evening, discussing the day's events, the political situation and their plans for the future.

Today we rush home, microwave something to eat while listening to the day's voice-mail, watch the TV news, then surf the internet and reply to email before going to bed.

People just don't interact in person much any more..is it any wonder why we have difficulty dealing with people face to face?

Some excellent resources have been offered, Straitjacket. In the meantime, you can take consolation in knowing you have much more in common with people than you now think.

Are you a student at the present time, or are you ready for employment?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Once upon a time, people talked while eating dinner, then chatted in the living room during the evening, discussing the day's events, the political situation and their plans for the future.

People still do that - on special occasions or in restaurants.

At home, we say, "Do you mind? I'm trying to watch Seinfeld!" :smack:

 

[Straitjacket]

Thanks for all the links They're really quite helpful.

I just recently graduated, but I'm not ready for a job at the moment. I almost brought in a resume but ended up having a break down the day before, so it was a no go. I'm getting better, starting to do more things on my own and the like, but still have a long way to go.