Getting annoyed

[boi]

Hey Everyone,
Just wanted to post an annoyance. I feel like I'm getting annoyed at my therapist. I mean maybe its me, maybe I don't know what I want in therapy anymore. When I tell my T something sometimes its just to say something but I'm always offered a solution. Ill say something about school and advice is given to me. I don't know if I'm getting annoyed because I don't want to change certain things I'm comfortable with or if I'm getting annoyed because I don't want to hear advice every single time. I don't know what my goal is anymore. I don't want to dwell on it in therapy either. Sometimes Ill mention something and my T talks about it through the whole session. Is it ok that I just want to say something with no feedback or is that not the way it works. I'm confused

 

[Retired]

Have you told your therapist about how you feel about these responses? Are you comfortable enough with this therapist to give feedback on what is told to you?

 

[boi]

no I haven't told my T anything. Im kinda keeping it all in. I would feel so uncomfortable saying anything. I would feel like Im complaining about my T's strategy.

 

[Always Changing]

You could try asking her to ask you if you would like advice or feedback when you say something?

Maybe she feels she has to comment\give advice\solution because you made a comment, maybe in her mind you said it because you did want such response.

She won't know not to do so until you raise with her.

Think back to your original goals, maybe talk these over with your T. ?

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi boi i think talking with your therapist about what you want is important maybe just go over your goals with your T next time. The only way you T will know what is on your mind is by being open with them. My psychologist always tells me if something he does is upsetting me i am to tell him as he will tell me if i am upsetting him. An open relationship with your T is the best no-one will be upset. This way the discussion can be what you want it to be about Take care boi best wishes mary

 

[Meg]

Therapists want to help, and sometimes they are so busy 'fixing' that actually listening takes a backseat! If what they are doing isn't helping my guess is that your honesty would be appreciated. That way you will both be on the same page and you can actually move forward together. That's what you're both there for.

 

[Halo]

A lot of good points raised in this thread and I do think that being honest with your therapist and telling him/her what is annoying you, upsetting you and what you need is probably best.

 

[boi]

thanks everyone for your feedback. Maybe I do need to be more honest with what is annoying me. I guess I need to figure out a way to say it.

 

[Halo]

If you can't verbalize it, try writing it down and giving it to your T at the beginning of the session or if you have access to your T's email that works as well.

Writing has usually helped me in the past..depending on what needs to be said.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.
Take care

 

[Retired]

Maybe I do need to be more honest with what is annoying me

Perhaps its just a faulty choice of words, but it has nothing to do with honesty, but rather with communication and assertiveness.

If you feel uncomfortable or lacking in confidence with your therapist, perhaps it might be a good topic of discussion in your next session.

Remember that you are a partner in your health care, and your therapist is not in a dominant position during your therapy, so your relationship should be on an equal .....eye to eye basis.

Your therapist (contrary to what some may think) cannot read your mind, so the only way to clear the air is to share what's on your mind....in the same way you would when speaking to your best friend.

You might be pleasantly surprised at the positive and supportive reaction you get.