Getting Over a Narcissistic Mother

[betterorworse]

As I have had a lifelong need for therapy and counseling I have seen at least 7 psychiatrists and a few psychologists over the years.

They are more professionally capable and experienced of judging situations I have been in and the people involved, without having met them. More than one had the same opinion about my mother, and this was completely spontaneous on their part. If you are raped, it does not take a great leap of faith to call the person a rapist.

If you wait for a person with narcissistic personality disorder to claim that they sought treament and were diagnosed as such, you will wait forever. They are great at acting and faking when necessary. So I don't see how your need for an absolutely undisputed diagnosis in your circumstances could ever happen with your mother.

You already have the tools to be diagnosed yourself if you choose to do so. Seems we are going in circles here. There isn't anymore I can add to try and help you. In the end it's not the label that matters, but what you can do about it.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Being in therapy doesn't provide you with the necessary background and training to diagnose yourself or anyone else, and diagnosing someone at a distance or someone you have never met is both unethical and illegal.

The distinction between having certain personality traits versus meeting the criteria for a specific diagnosis is an important one and absolutely correct.

One must meet certain qualifications to have the legal authority to diagnose. In Canada, only licensed physicians (including of course psychiatrists) and licensed psychologists have the legal authority to diagnose. And any physician or psychologist who issued a diagnosis for someone s/he had never met would be liable for censure as a minimum and possible revocation of his or her license to practice.

 

[betterorworse]

MY APOLOGIES.

I had not intention of diagnosing anyone, or implying anyone was officially diagnosed with a disease by my doctors, except me. Words are crucial on this type of site. The appropriate statement should have been: several of my therapists felt and thought my mother had narcissictic traits. There was no diagnosis involved on their part, and no illegal behavior.

With the best of intentions, I feel I overstepped this site's purpose and was too revealing with my own life's experiences and opinions. Thinking the other member would feel less alone with his own issues. My mistake.

I do think perhaps this tread should be called "Getting over a mother who MAY BE narcissitic..."