Good Days and Bad Days

[forgetmenot]

I hope you get the help now you need the support you need and i hope you start to heal from the past i really do. Good for you for keeping up the fight okay Take care let us know how everything works out :2thumbs:

 

[suewatters1]

I had a lot of pain Monday morning. Like a pinched nerve in my knee and I over medicated myself to deal with the pain. After lunch it took everything I had to stay awake. I was tired or over tired most of the evening but I still can't sleep even with my sleeping pill. I go for my daytime sleep test on Wednesday I will try not to take any pain meds if I can because I don't want to get drowsy when I shouldn't because I don't want to lose my license but I need to control the pain. When it gets bad on a scale of 1 to 10 it's an 8. My thoughts go to amount of pain I feel and how unbearable. I am feeling than I lose my concentration because I am focusing on the pain. Thank God I have a easy job but it's been 5 months worth of pain that gets unbearable. Right now my furnace is almost empty of oil and I can't anymore because my furnace got tagged as unsafe. I was trying to get one from the RRAP program but they ran out of money by the time they got to my file. I bought a couple of oil heaters on sale a couple of weeks back and might need more. I wonder when will I get a break in life I feel the company I work for stole 6 years of my life by the way they treated me since I became a disable employee and wanted to open a WSIB claim for the stress and harassment 2 years ago and get time off from work I was told no but just found out that the Health and Safety person agreed I had a right to open a claim. I just found that out a few weeks ago 2 years to late. I have been with them 26 years and not everything is bad I want to reclaim my life back but I am still mad that I feel I lost 6 years of my life where I gambled and got in debt over my head to deal with the stress. Where I learned to do self harm and to have thoughts of suicide because of those 6 years. I have to get up early so I can go to my Chiropractor for my session paid by WSIB. But I can't seem to fall asleep but considering I how tired I was most of the day I thought I would be out like a light by now.
Just needed to vent my frustration

 

[Keisha86]

Hi Sue,
The thought of suicide is a very serious subject. I believe you should join discussion groups pertaining to this matter to help you through this difficult time in your life. You are not alone in your situation, what ever it may be, you must find your purpose and others can help you. By you speaking out and networking you can give others the dealing with same issues the strength and the courage to seek help.
Take Care

 

[suewatters1]

Thank You I am getting counseling from my CMHA worker and my Psychoanalyst and my Psychiatrist. My Psychiatrist I felt wasn't doing enough to help me with my depression so I went to the local clinic and the DR increased my medication for my depression last week. My Psychiatrist isn't happy when I emailed him this information but I need to get rid of the suicide thoughts I kept having.
Update I ran out of heating oil last week now I use two space heaters and my oven to heat my house. I got approved for the Government RRAP program but it's to late for me to get a gas line installed for the new gas furnace I am suppose to get.