Help me not call my therapist today

[Cat Dancer]

I don't want to bother him today. I am not even sure he checks his voicemail on weekends, but I don't want to take a chance. I am just SUPER anxious and having bad thoughts and feeling very confused and disconnected and in a lot of pain. I most likely will call him in the morning, but I need to not call him today.

What are some things I can do to cope without him? I feel so sorry for him having to put up with me. Lately I've been needy and frustrating.

 

[MHealthJo]

What is it that he would normally do that would be helpful right now, CD?

Hmm, yeah, this could be a good practice of asking for what you need, from various good people who want you to feel healthy and good.

So what do you think you need most right now?

 

[Cat Dancer]

Someone to believe that I can do this, make it through this and get better. I think he believes in me no matter how many stupid things I've done to make him not believe in me. I want someone to hear me? If that makes sense. And part of me wants him to figure out some way to lock me up so I am safe from myself.

 

[MHealthJo]

Do you mean self-harm wise? It is okay to go to a place where that might be less possible for a bit? Not sure what time it is where you are. But there might be somewhere you could spend some time where you'd be out in some different scenery?

Or if there is a chance of something serious, please just call him hun, or call emergency to keep you safe.

But as far as believing in you, I really have seen you asking the right questions and pushing through some very difficult barriers lately, CD. Pushing yourself. Also seeing you finding the 'old ways' starting to get really... well... old.

Even though times will come when this is less so or when you get a bit derailed, I am totally seeing you do this more and more. Just doing this bit by bit and never giving up, is what you need to do to get in a much better position.

That makes me have no difficulty at all in beleiving in it.

 

[rdw]

I thought your therapist told you that it is absolutely okay for you to call him when and if you need to. If my memory is correct why not give him a call? He may be able to provide the reassurance you need today.

 

[MHealthJo]

Creative and problemsolving thinking, too. Asking for ideas to get through your barriers and get better at the hard hard spots and pitfalls. Letting the right people help you. Saying lots and lots that you need to say. Letting us help you deconstruct the ideas that aren't right and aren't good for you.

Lots of good stuff; and it doesn't matter if you're not perfect and forget the right stuff sometimes and still get in a bit of a trap with the wrong stuff. You really are still learning why the wrong stuff is the wrong stuff, more. And you are definitely practising the right stuff.

Hmm, cos I keep saying 'The Right Stuff', now I'm tempted to post that old New Kids On The Block song.....

But this is a helping website, not a hurting website........

xx

 

[Cat Dancer]

I broke down and left a message. At least he knows where I am at right now. I know I try his patience.

 

[MHealthJo]

As R said, try not to worry... (I know it is hard)... because this is really just part of the service that a therapist provides and it is expected.

 

[Retired]

I broke down and left a message.

The way I see it, you acted with courage and good sense to have made the call.

It seems you perceive many of your own actions and thoughts as somehow being derogatory, when in fact, to the rest of us see you as being courageous and strong.

I don't know what would be involved in assisting you to make a shift in your own perceptions of yourself, because, to me, that seems to be your greatest hindrance to seeing yourself as you truly are....a strong, courageous and compassionate person.

 

[GDPR]

I broke down and left a message.

I'm glad you did.

I always really,really struggle with whether to make that call or not. I'm always afraid I will seem too clingy or too needy.

After reading what Steve said,I think he's right,it is a courageous thing to do.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Not only that but speaking from a therapist's point of view you are providing him with information that will help him help you.

 

[GDPR]

Not only that but speaking from a therapist's point of view you are providing him with information that will help him help you.

You never think to yourself "oh god,now what? I am tired of this person nagging me all the time"?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

You never think to yourself "oh god,now what? I am tired of this person nagging me all the time"?

No. Not when it's a client. That's part of being a therapist.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I'm just worried. How else can he help me? My brain is so messed up I can't seem to fix it. He's tried so hard to help me, but maybe it's the end?

 

[MHealthJo]

I think the key is to remember that by continuing to stick with it, you will come to times where you are able to (or are forced to) get further away from the things that hurt you and make it harder for you, and do more and more of what will help you.

xx

 

[Retired]

How else can he help me? .......... He's tried so hard to help me, but maybe it's the end?

There are probably many options in treatment strategies your therapist can explore. However, as has bee said by others, the only way a therapist can help, is for you to provide as many details about how you are feeling, how you are struggling and the issues you are trying to deal with.

It's entirely and exclusively up to you to provide the information, because unless your therapist has gone to Mind Reading School chances are he cannot read your thoughts and feelings.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I actually think I have told him WAY too much. I wish I could take most of it back. I am upset that I talked about things I shouldn't have talked about. I feel so torn about this. I told too too much. It's bad, really bad. I need to be more discerning in what I say and I am going to do my best to take back some of the stuff I've said. I'll tell him it was just bad dreams and not reality. So it will go away.

 

[rdw]

That's flawed thinking - a person does not heal until one deals with and accepts the truth. By telling him the truth you have given him information that he can use to help you.

 

[MHealthJo]

I actually think I have told him WAY too much. I wish I could take most of it back. I am upset that I talked about things I shouldn't have talked about. I feel so torn about this. I told too too much. It's bad, really bad. I need to be more discerning in what I say and I am going to do my best to take back some of the stuff I've said. .

CD, it is thinking like this which keeps you very unwell and prevents healing and change.

I'll tell him it was just bad dreams and not reality. So it will go away.

No CD. It will NOT go away.

You need to tell all of the truth, and deal with it with your therapist, and let him help you, in order for your problems to go away.

You should NOT be trying to make the discomfort of doing it go away.

 

[forgetmenot]

CD i read your post hun and god my mind does the same thing i want to tell therapis it has all been lies too and i wish i did not say things as well. I really get upset for telling things that should never have been told

I worry that calling and leaving msg upsets him

You see CD you are not alone in the way you think our minds just are against us at times.

Thanks for posting it makes me see that my thoughts are not so alone

You stick with your therapist ok He has not given up on you so you don't give up on him hugs to you