Help

[Thelostchild]

Im not sure of my slef anymore? Im not good enough for my mom for my sister for nobody. Im always doing something wrong and it seems like i should just keep my mouth shut and never say anything. Me my mom and sister got into a big fight. it didn't go well. I ended up cutting on my arm but ?I don't remember doing it. ?I was screaming at everyone I was pulling my hair out. amd scratching my face arms. I don't know what to do with my self anymore . I thought i was doing really good and now im at the bottom of the pit hole. I don't care if i see anyof my family agaain.

 

[Eunoia]

Im not good enough for my mom for my sister for nobody

this and a lot of everything else that you wrote is something I could have written about myself... the thing is, you're right, you may not ever be good enough for them but what you have to realize is that you have to be good enough for yourself- and that is something you can do and work on. their expectations may be completely off from what's realistic or fair, I don't know what exactly their expectations are for you... what are your expectations for yourself? that might be a place to start. do you think you are being realistic and fair to yourself in what you expect of yourself? what do you expect of them? you can't be perfect in everything you do and I can guarantee you neither can they. I think when you lose a sense of yourself, and get to a point where you're unsure of yourself, that's when you realize that maybe something is wrong here- are you trying to live up to someone else's standards? or your own perfectionistic standards? when we try to be someone who we're not or live up to who others expect us to be (or we think they want us to be) we lose our sense of self. maybe they were already in a bad mood and you just got pulled into the middle of it? maybe you tend to be the scapegoat during fights? whichever way, I'm sorry you ended up taking it all out on yourself, but I understand how those situations can be full of emotions and this seems to be the only way to cope at the time... was the fight about you? was it something they said you did or didn't do? hun, remember that even if you slipped up this time and even if things seem like they're falling apart, if you were doing good before, this is only another stepping stone, another experience to learn from, another challenge along your way.... it doesn't invalidate anything you did before, any accomplishments of yours before this. please don't let them get you down, if anything, let this teach you that you have to live this life for YOURSELF and only YOU can change how you react to them, what you do w/ your life, and whether you are good enough for yourself or not- you can't control how they react, what they say or do, what they expect you to say or do, but you can make a difference in terms of what you want for yourself

 

[Diana]

You had a fight and it turned into a really bad incident. That doesn't mean that you should disregard the fact that you were doing better before. I know, it seems that you fell way back down into the bottom of the pit and that it's difficult to get out again. But, it was only one incident. We all lose a certain amount of control sometimes. Give yourself some time to get back to where you were before and then just work from there. Don't be so hard on yourself.
I really hope things get better with your family. But, if not you still have to focus on what YOU need.

 

[foghlaim]

I think when you lose a sense of yourself, and get to a point where you're unsure of yourself, that's when you realize that maybe something is wrong here-

? ?

i don't know if this is helpful or not.. but reading this thread... reminds me of times when i get "knocked down"..? ?i tend to think this is my own fault and lots more..? ?it takes a while to realise .. for me that is.? at times like this it's my confidence in myself that's taken a hit.? ? this forum is like my confidence builder..? helps me to understand why i feel like this sometimes.?

does that make any sense?

hope u feel better soon T.L.C..? ( hope u don't mind me using initials for your name)

actually you initials.. stand for Tender Loving Care as well as your name..? i think that's cool *s*

 

[Thelostchild]

Its like my mom was forcing me and my sister to talk and they just came over to my house and started what it felt like was down grading me. I take advantage of the situation with me working for an in home assistant and taking care of my great grandmother at my moms house im always sitting on my butt and I don't do anything. That I always run away from my problems and Im a big baby and this is the real world and I have to wake up and take it. and the world isn't going to accomadate for me just because I go to counseling. and what good is it that your going to counseling if your always funning away from your problems. I feel like my mom is saying to me ya know Emily your never going to go anyware anyways thats why you work ware you do. That just reminded me of a teacher that I had that told me and my parents that I would never go to college. Thats upsetting for me. I can't help im a sensitive person. I don't know how to express my feelings or how to talk to anyone. I learned at a young age that the only way is to yell and fight and just to shut up and keep everything held in.

And ya know why me and my mom are fighting is because my sister and I are always fighting and we hate eachothers guts. and we are always telling my mom how we are b__'s . I hate my dissfunstional family.

 

[Diana]

It's too bad that you were given bad advice as a child. Example - you will never go to college. It's too bad that your mom continues to make you feel this way about yourself. But, I think you know deep down that this is wrong. You even said it yourself - that you are a sensitive person (which can be a very positive thing) and you're just unsure of how to express your feelings. I'm not saying that you should abandon your family, but I think you should keep going to therapy to learn how to express your feelings. It doesn't seem like you're ever going to learn how to do this from your family. There is nothing wrong with going to counseling. It doesn't mean you're asking for the world to accomodate you. You're just asking for some help. And if they can't understand that, then that's too bad, but you have to do what's necessary for yourself.