.more important question is what causes someone to abuse and how can we prevent a person from becoming abusive? The abuser is always to blame for the abuse .... Not the victim...
I agree that the abuser is always to blame,not the victim,but I am pretty sure it's a well known fact that those that are raised in an abusive home tend to gravitate towards abusers and tend to be victimized more often.A nd some women continue to be victimized until they seek help.I am not saying they are to blame,just saying it's all they know and they don't know how to stand up for themselves or not allow themselves to be treated that way.And if all my mom has known is abuse throughout her entire life,I think there's a good chance her new husband is abusive also.
And although it is important to know what causes someone to abuse and how we can prevent a person from becoming abusive,I feel it's just as important,more so actually,for a woman that is being abused to seek help in order to understand why she doesn't leave,why she allows it to continue,and to become strong enough,and feel worthy enough to make changes.If a woman believes she doesn't deserve to be treated well,has such low self esteem that she blames herself,she's going to find it hard to not end up with an abuser until her perception of herself and her beliefs change.I am in no way blaming the victim,just saying what I feel is true.
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When I was being physically abused by my sons,it wasn't my fault,I simply didn't know or believe I had choices or options.I didn't have the self esteem,self worth to stand up for myself.And it would have continued if I had not sought help from my therapist.And I most likely would have been abused by other people,repeatedly victimized,like I had been in the past.That's the point I was trying to make,that sometimes women keep seeking the same type of people,keep gravitating towards abusive people until they seek the help they need to change it.